How to Know Your Colleague Is Not Ukrainian

~ Clarissa

I’m walking with a colleague.

“I never manage to recognize this guy S when I meet him,” I say. “First, he lost an incredible amount of weight, then he gained it back again, and as a result I never recognize him.”

“And do you know how he lost all that weight?” the colleague asks. “All he had to do was give up on soda and carbohydrates. That is all he had to give up. Nothing else!”

“If he had to give up potatoes,” I say, “then there is nothing else left.”

“But that was all he had to give up,” the colleague insists.

“But potatoes. . .” I object.

“Yes, but that’s a small sacrifice.”

“BUT POTATOES!!!!!” I repeat.

Ukrainians and non-Ukrainians will never reach an agreement as to whether giving up potatoes is a huge sacrifice.

Published by Clarissa

14 thoughts on “How to Know Your Colleague Is Not Ukrainian”

  2. Must’ve confused passers-by to see a wild-haired Ukrainian woman shout “BUT POTATOES!!!” at her bewildered colleague. 😀

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  6. Semantic noise can even create a rather convincing simulation of insanity, as Dr. Paul Watzlawick has demonstrated in several books. Dr. Watzlawick, incidentally, got his first inkling of this psychotomimetic function of semantic noise when arriving at a mental hospital as a new staff member. He reported to the office of the Chief Psychiatrist, where he found a woman sitting at the desk in the outer office. Dr. Watzlawick made the assumption he had found the boss’s secretary. “I’m Watzlawick,” he said, assuming the “secretary” would know he had an appointment. “I didn’t say you were,” she replied. A bit taken aback, Dr. Watzlawick exclaimed, “But I am.” “Then why did you deny it?” she asked. At this point, in Dr. Watzlawick’s view of the situation, the woman no longer seemed a secretary. He now classified her as a schizophrenic patient who had somehow wandered into the staff offices. Naturally, he became very careful in “dealing with” her.

    Fore-Words
    To Robert Anton Wilsons
    Quantum Psychology

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