I’ve experienced all kinds of symptoms in this pregnancy: dizziness, nausea, head-aches, extremely itchy skin, weakness, sleepiness. Everything except loss of appetite because that is something that just never happens to me. Ukrainian people can lose anything except an appetite. (Historic trauma).

The funny thing, though, is that I only had these symptoms whenever I really wanted to have them. I know this sounds weird, but let me explain.

Several years ago, a friend who was then the same age I am now got pregnant. And then, about a month into the pregnancy, the fetus just stopped developing for no reason. She had no idea that had happened until she went to see her doctor. And then she had to get an abortion to remove the expired fetus.

This story traumatized me deeply. The idea of walking around with a dead fetus inside you and not even knowing it was too scary. I also read a similar story on a blog I was following some time later, and the fear of something like that happening to me set in.

As a result, whenever I didn’t have any symptoms for a while, I’d start getting worried that something had happened to the fetus. Then, my body would get the message and would produce some symptoms to calm me down.

It is really interesting how this stuff works.

P.S. Don’t worry, I won’t only write about pregnancy from now on. I will just get all these stories that have accumulated during the first trimester out of my system and then proceed to write about other things.

All of this gushing over yet another Hollywood starlet trying to climb into politics makes me want to vomit:

 The idea of a Sen. Judd joining Sens. Gillibrand, Warren, and Baldwin is pretty exciting. No matter what she chooses to do next, we can count on Ashley Judd to stand up for women and for the marginalized everywhere.

Unless of course the women in question don’t have “flawless” skins and are so lazy that they wear size 6 or – the horror, the horror! – even size 8. If said women manage to have “visible wrinkles,” I’m sure the wrinkle-obsessed senator will have no use for these imperfect, ugly creatures.

If people were less in thrall to the aura of Hollywood, I’m sure they would notice that any non-Hollywood politician who said things that are as egregiously offensive to women as what Judd has said, that politician would see the fury of feminist organizations unleashed against her or him like a tsunami.

Folks, being a Hollywood starlet doesn’t make one special. All Hollywood does is produce very stupid, low-quality entertainment aimed to anaesthesize people’s brains into complete idiocy. You wouldn’t hire Hollywood starlets to fill your teeth, cook your food, or repair your plumbing. Why, then, do you think they are qualified to run your country?

Demand that the lazy Dems provide qualified candidates instead of humiliating their constituents by allowing this kind of people to run.

P.S. Yes, I’m resentful about the suggestion that women who look like me are flawed and lazy, and that resentment is not going away. Not even Sarah Palin has ever made me feel so marginalized for my appearance.

I’m walking around the house, repeating to myself, “I’ll have a little American baby”, and laughing. I was born behind the Iron Curtain, so you can understand why the idea of a little American baby seems strange.

And I’m not just speaking formally when I say this will be an American baby. I have proof of its inclinations already. For weeks, I’ve had the most intense cravings for

1. Pizza
2. Hamburgers.

And when I say “cravings “, I mean I have dreams about them and have to make efforts not to drool on the keyboard as I write the word “pizza.”

Normally, I eat pizza about once a year and hamburgers about once every 3 years, so this is highly unusual.

 

I’m pregnant. It’s OK to congratulate. 🙂

Has anybody noticed how much alike the two guys are / were? (What is the tense you use when one is dead and one is alive?)

1. Both used the same single natural resource their countries have in abundance to buy the voters’ allegiance through a series of populist measures. Of course, these measures are not based on any real economic development but who cares, as long as you can do what the Russians refer to as “milking the pipe”?

2. Both used the same natural resource to buy allegiance from other countries.

3. Both engaged in very flamboyant and weird behavior.

4. One dressed in strange ways, another keeps undressing in strange situations.

5. Both promoted an aggressively nationalistic discourse which made them hugely loved by the less educated among the citizenry.

6. Both used an obnoxiously repetitive anti-US discourse in aid of their jingoistic push.

7. Both believed that an anti-US alliance was possible and necessary and promoted it by – surprise, surprise! – milking the pipe.

8. Both loved Ahmadinejad with a strange passion.

9. Both were really good at creating paranoid narratives of conspiracies and persecutions.

10. Both had a horrible personal taste.

11. Both go out of their way to spread rumors of their enormous virility.

There are some differences, as well, of course.

1. Chavez loved Cuba while Putin makes every effort to pretend it doesn’t exist (for obvious reasons).

2. C. used a fake Socialist rhetoric while P. makes a similar use of a fake capitalist discourse.

3. C. cultivated the image of a typical Western dictator (giving long, hysterical speeches, gesticulating a lot, presenting an image of a guy next door everybody can relate to), while P. relies more on the image of a typical Eastern dictator (communicating his will less through personal appearances than through his aides, speaking rarely, slowly, and quietly, creating an aura of mystery, presenting an image of inhuman strength and achievement.)

4. C. always looked like he was in need of some Ritalin while P. always looks like he is desperate for a hemorrhoids remedy.

If you can think of more differences or similarities, feel free to share.

On the advice of my doctor, I spent the entire flight to Madrid and back walking around the plane (and bugging the hell out of flight attendants). As a result, I couldn’t fail to observe what people were playing and reading.

The most popular game turned out to be solitaire. About 80% of people played it. This is very puzzling to me because I was sure that nobody played this very primitive game any longer. I had gone through a solitaire phase, too, but that was when we had very basic computers and no other games were available. Today, however, people use extremely sophisticated devices to play this simple game.

The most popular reading is the 50 Shades trilogy. This was also a surprising discovery. The only conceivable point of reading pornography is, as I always believed, to achieve a sexual release. Since that is not very possible on a plane (or am I too old and frumpy to know?), then why read the book? Do people actually read it for the plot? This thought is too scary.

From a Spanish newspaper:

“It’s disturbing that the Prince of Asturias should be present at Hugo Chavez’s funeral. With the kind of people who are going to be there (Raul Castro, Ahmadinejad, etc.), the Prince is likely to find himself missing both his wallet and his watch by the end of the ceremony.”

“Ah, I can see you are a teacher,” the Tarot reader said the moment she saw my cards. “I won’t even ask you if you are. It is too obvious that you were born to teach.”

Of course, I also have a loud voice and a teacherly manner, so this could have been a very easy guess.

My sister’s Tarot reader told her that she is a good, kind person. Mine, on the other hand, only told me I’m very self-assured.

“And you communicate really well with the public,” she added. “You have an audience. I’m not sure what it means but I’m seeing here that you have an audience that you address on a regular basis. Readers, listeners, I don’t know.”

There is an esoteric fair going on at Madrid’s Atocha station, so I decided to get a Tarot reading. Not that I believe in these things but they can be entertaining.

When the Tarot reader asked me what I would like to know about first, love, career, family, health, or money, I immediately said, “Health!”

Now I’m wondering whether being the kind of person who feels that love, family and career issues have already been resolved in her life and only wonders about health makes me old.

I’m coming back to the US and I’m wondering what I have missed.

Please consider leaving the links to articles you believe to be interesting or important for me to read or comment on.

Thank you!