For those who do want to learn:
Every relationship between any human beings begins with a struggle for power. Every single one. We can dislike this fact, yet it is not going away. The balance of power that is established at the beginning is next to impossible to change later on in the relationship.
So when somebody says to you, “yeah, there were a couple of times that were perfect for you to kiss me… but you didn’t”, they are trying to set up a relational model where you are an ignorant little school-child being gently scolded and instructed by a benign, condescending authority.
Letting this happen is an enormous mistake. (Unless you really enjoy being condescended to). Things will only go downhill after you allow one such comment go unchecked. So the only appropriate response that will shift the balance of power and put you in control is: “Oh. . . you wanted me to kiss you? I’m sorry, I just don’t see you that way. You are a nice person but. . . sorry.”
After that, there is a huge probability that the interlocutor will run after you like a lovesick puppy. And you will be able to decide whether you need this person in your life, and will be able to dictate the terms.
And most importantly: even if you are totally, completely, overpoweringly in love, do not allow the person to wrestle all of the control away from you. You will not be getting it back later. At the same time, don’t allow them to give all the control to you. That is a sign they want to exploit you.
Clarissa's Blog 
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