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Solution

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Clarissa

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Of course, criminal prosecution of cheating partners that is discussed in the penultimate post is a ridiculous idea.

There is, however, a very easy way of avoiding ever being “coerced into sex with lies.” I will now share this recipe with the world for the benefit of humanity.

Drum roll. . .

Only consider having sex with people when you feel sexual desire to have sex with these people. Don’t make the desire to have sex contingent on what others tell you, only on whether you want it.

Ta da!

The moment you make your desire for sex conditional on anything whatsoever other than your sexual desire, you place yourself in the realm of unhealthy sexual practices. The result can only be sad. Desire shouldn’t be about what people do or do not say to you.

Of course, it’s your right to sell sex acts in return for money, gifts, promises of marriage, oaths of loyalty, etc. However, if you lie to yourself and others and pretend this is anything but a sale, don’t blame people for lying in response.

6 responses to “Solution”

  1. Titfortat Avatar
    Titfortat

    Solution, Ta da………..I agree. 🙂

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  2. Shakti Avatar
    Shakti

    The only reason I have any sympathy for that last poster is because to have a biological child, it necessitates unprotected contact with sperm (unless I have a surrogate.) . I think of her story as a public health PSA to always use condoms forever because you always risk disease (i.e. the only safe sex is solo masturbation.) I’ve only dated men who were scrupulous in that regard. But to frame her story as some emotional violence that needs to be legislated out of existence with breach of promise laws is ridiculous.

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  3. David Bellamy Avatar
    David Bellamy

    Have you seen this?

    http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/06/when-women-pursue-sex-even-men-dont-get-it.html

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      “But for women who’ve been with their partners between one and four years, a dive begins — and continues, leaving male desire far higher.”

      – And once again I discover I’m not a woman. Maybe I should just face that I’m a man and stop pretending already.

      “But socially, many straight men still find it a turnoff when women are sexual aggressors. ”

      – They are a little scared but they all absolutely dig it.

      “I suspect this is the source of much sexual dissatisfaction of the modern single lady, who’s so horny she’s running across the street to Walgreens to buy more batteries twice a week, but is unable to pick up men despite social conventions that men are “easy” to bed and women have to be coaxed into casual sex. ”

      – Silly stereotype created by Sex and the City and other similar weird forms of entertainment.

      “Moreover, when women do not adhere to these scripts they are viewed negatively.”

      – Again, I’m not a woman. Am seriously considering a name change.

      “But in the human realm, that simple, fundamental motivation is all too easily labeled as “sluttiness,” or some sort of deep desperation wrought by singledom.”

      – Are we still talking about men and women or 9-year-old children? Adults don’t use such terminology unless they are Christian fundamentalists. But those don’t have sex at all, so who cares?

      “This catch-22 presents women with a few options, none of which are appealing. You can directly pursue a man, but only if you want to convey that you’re only in it for sex. You can choose not to pursue him, but then you’re relegated to this historic, passive role that doesn’t jibe with your active, considered approach to any other area of life, be it work or real estate or even friendship. ”

      – Oh, the horrible burden of adulthood. 🙂 🙂 And then one has to choose what to eat for lunch and life become too intolerable.

      ““The men I interview also state that they prefer to be the individual who initiates the date and at times find women who ask them out to be more aggressive.””

      – The problem with all these studies is that researchers can’t distinguish what people say they want from what people want. They seem to have no idea that these are completely different things. Which is what makes their scholarship useless.

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      1. Wirbelwind Avatar
        Wirbelwind

        Sometimes I suspect some wannabe intellectuals like their thought constructs and rhetoric too much to notice the reality around them. It is amusing in the “what the hell told you that” sort of way.
        I mean, are there really adults that tell others that they are slutty or something ? A band of girls can use such a line to be mean to each other, but come on.

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
          bloggerclarissa

          I just imagined a situation where I ask a man out on a date and he says, “Oh, you are so slutty!” I think I’d laugh for an hour. The whole thing is just too ridiculous. 🙂

          An adult woman who worries that people will see her as “slutty” and an adult man who considers women “slutty” should both visit a psychiatrist.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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