“So when are you due?” the driver asks, eyeing my enormous belly.
“Soon!” I say.
“But it isn’t today, is it?” the driver clarifies fearfully.
“No, I hope not.”
“So what is it?” she asks.
“It’s a boy.”
“Yes, yes, yes!” the driver exclaims. “Every pregnant woman I meet is having a girl. It’s like an epidemic! Good thing you, at least, are having a boy.”
“Erm . . .” I say, unsure of what to contribute to the discussion.
“That’s certainly one way of looking at it” (and a number of permutations thereof) is a handy all purpose expression just made for such a situation. It has the advantage of being true and most of the time the person it’s said to takes it as acknowledgement and agreement. Win win.
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Perhaps something like “We are just happy the baby is healthy and doing great, and we’re very excited.”
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My stock reply for inanities like that is, “Really”. Depending on the intrusive/offensiveness of the preceding statement I add eyebrows, flat tone and and a fullstop. and a drawn out first syllable. If it’s important to be polite, I’ll go with ‘goodness! ‘ or ‘that’s interesting.’
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I was especially taken aback by the word “epidemic.” People use it for everything these days without even thinking about what it means.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
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