There is this saying that is offensive to both Russians and Ukrainians: “While a Russian sleeps, a Ukrainian eats.” The message it conveys is that Russians are lazy and Ukrainians are greedy and crafty.
In our family, though, the saying has always been literally true. The only thing that turns N. from the gentle, sweet and kind person he always is into a scary, irate creature is waking him ten minutes earlier than planned. And the only time N. saw me freaking out – I don’t mean angry, sad, upset or experiencing any normal emotions but freaking out irrationally – is when we were moving to Baltimore and didn’t have dinner at the time I’m used to eating. N. eats a lot less than I do and I need less sleep not only than N. but than a regular person.
Now, however, the impossible has happened: I lost all interest in food and acquired an interest in sleep. I had already allowed the Russian pronunciation to substitute my heavy Ukrainian accent and now find it funny to hear my own parents talk. And I’m a convert to constant tea-drinking. Now all that is left for me to do is to buy a Russian flag and start quoting Pushkin at least 10 times a day. Of course, I will never become Russianized to the point where I will refer to borscht as “soup”, which, by the way, is the most offensive thing you can say to a Ukrainian.

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