I just received a plaque commemorating the award I got for my monograph. It’s big, shiny, and really pretty. And it’s in Spanish. And my last name is even spelled correctly. It would look amazing on the walls of my office where students could see it.

But I can’t put it up for the same reason why I haven’t been able to put up my diplomas: the walls of my office are covered with stupid sheet metal. I’m sitting here, feeling like I’m hiding in a bunker. I have been able to put up some postcards because they can be held up with magnets. But framed diplomas and this expensive plaque are heavy and I haven’t found a magnet capable of holding them.

Students often say, “Oh, so YOU have a PhD?? Really?” I’d much rather they saw the diplomas the moment they walked into my office and were suitably intimidated. And if there were a plaque next to the diplomas. . . well, you can imagine.

Of course, I can always hang the plaque at home, but who is there to be intimidated by it? And what is the point of a plaque if not to scare people into complete submission to your intellectual powers?

22 responses to “You Know What Sucks?”

  1. David Bellamy Avatar

    There are adhesive hooks available at hardware stores and craft stores for hanging things on walls that you cannot drive nails or drill holes into.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      I’ve tried them but they kept falling off. There needs to be a very strong magnet to keep them on.

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  2. Pika Avatar
    Pika

    Could you use these kind of stands to put up your diplomas and a plaque on a shelf in your office?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Hah! This actually makes sense. Why didn’t I think of it? I even think I might have one such thing at home.

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  3. titfortat Avatar
    titfortat

    That almost is worthy of a joke…………”How many PhD’s does it take to hang a plaque” 😉

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      I know! It’s easier to write a book and earn a plaque than actually put it up. 🙂 🙂

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      1. David Bellamy Avatar

        Come to think of it, there is a company that sells extremely strong magnets. If I remember correctly, its URL is

        http://wondermagnet.com

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

          Thank you, I will check it out!

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      2. David Bellamy Avatar

        I use magnets from wondermagnet.com to hold dish towels on my refrigerator, as well as a large calendar. One magnet is sufficient for either of these tasks. It takes a significant amount of strength to take down either a towel or a calendar.

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    2. cliff arroyo Avatar

      ”How many PhD’s does it take to hang a plaque”

      More than we’ve got.

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  4. Stille (@aperfectbalance) Avatar

    Or you could use stronger magnets. Look for neodymium magnets and the like – you can get something with 15lbs of pull force for 5$ from here, and that was only what I found in 1 minute of googling.

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  5. Pika Avatar
    Pika

    I just suggested to use a metal stand for the plaque and diplomas and put them on a shelf, but the comment is not showing – I guess perhaps because I included a link to amazon?

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  6. reginaav Avatar

    I seriously doubt that you need a plaque or a diploma to scare people into complete submission to your intellectual powers, my friend. I’ve seen it happen.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Hee hee. I’m not THAT scary.

      Hell, yes, of course I am. 🙂 🙂

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    2. Ol. Avatar
      Ol.

      Did you know that my students call me “el diablo” in my back?

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      1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

        You do have that Romantic sort of look. 🙂 And I should be el angel exterminador. 🙂

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  7. n8chz Avatar

    It would appear you have been placed inside a Faraday cage. Does your cell phone work in there?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      No, it doesn’t. And that’s a constant source of aggravation. I have to conduct all of my phone conversations on the hallway, scaring everybody with my loud Russian yelling.

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  8. Dr. Koshary Avatar

    Ah yes, I remember you mentioning this creepy sheet metal business on my blog post a few years ago! (Which, incidentally, is still one of my most popular. Apparently, a lot of us spend a lot of time fretting about hanging diplomas in the office.)

    I like David Bellamy’s idea about the magnets, although Pika’s idea of a display stand has its charm, too. If you have enough room in your office for a shelf for the stand, why not? (I wouldn’t have enough room to turn around if I imported such a shelf, and my bookshelves are the wrong size.)

    Alternatively, have you ever considered taking an axe and/or blowtorch to the walls, because it’s effing claustrophobic and terrifying to be inside a Faraday cage all day long?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      We also have these overhead lights that can never be turned off or controlled in any way. They are on whether anybody is in the building or not, which is just bizarre.

      But I do wonder what lies behind the metal sheets. . . 🙂

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  9. Rose Avatar
    Rose

    Another possibility, depending on what your ceiling is made of, is to hang a hook and use a wire. I do like the idea of a stand better, though.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      My ceiling has dead birds falling out of it, so I try not to touch it unnecessarily. 🙂

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