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A Lesson

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“I have given decades of my life and every ounce of my energy to my college,” a friend says. “And now I’m discovering that in a time of need my colleagues will not defend me from being bullied and harassed on campus. The administration doesn’t care two straws. I feel like my life has been useless.”

I’m learning that one shouldn’t think in terms of doing something for the sake of the department, school, college, university, discipline. Collectivity asks for a lot but rarely gives back enough to make the sacrifice worth it.

In order to avoid feeling like my friend 30 years from now, I have to concentrate on my work, my publications, my name, my  prestige, my completely individual gain. If at least I were on the same wavelength with people in my profession, I could hope to do some good. But it is useless to reach out to people you don’t understand and experience as completely different from you.

I’m very sad for my friend right now. I’m a fixer by nature. When I see problems, I need to start fixing them immediately. Seeing so much distress in somebody I care about is very difficult.

6 responses to “A Lesson”

  1. zinemin Avatar
    zinemin

    I have thought a lot about this question recently.
    I spent 10 years in academic research because I actually really cared about adding knowledge to the field. I could have never done it for personal gain and I find it hard to imagine how anyone can decide to do research purely for status and career reasons, although I know some cases where I believe this might me the case, which is mind-boggling to me. Personally, I would have never for a second put up with the difficulties, moving around etc. if it just had been about my status or my career.
    I think to be successful in academia, one needs to both have a strong and partially selfless urge to increase the knowledge in the field and be of assistance to the community, and a strong urge to increase one’s status.
    If one of the two is missing — and one of the two is missing in the majority of my postdoc friends — it will mostly not work out.
    It is very true that nobody will ever look out for you just because you made some sacrifices for any community. Learning to be selfish is very important. But for that you first need to figure out what you actually want. Many are stuck at this step already.

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  2. Evelina Anville Avatar
    Evelina Anville

    I’m not entirely sure about this. I suppose you would have to think of the term/concept of self interest really broadly. For instance, faculty who just opt out of departmental/college service post tenure are really terrible colleagues and thrust the work of governance on to those of us who are willing to participate in larger life of the university.

    For instance, I help my department write our annual assessment report. It’s not something I particularly relish and certainly not something that advances my career in any direct way. But it helps my department out and establishes that our department is able to self-assess…which signals to the administration that we value and participate in governance.

    So in the long run, I suppose it is self serving somewhat. I do not want administrators to assess our department; it is much much better if we handle our own assessment process. Still, it doesn’t benefit me directly and I have some colleagues who just rest on their laurels and enjoy the benefits of shared governance but do not contribute any of the (often boring and tedious) work that shared governance sometimes requires.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      The big issue for me is being one of the two kinds of person:

      A) While injustices and abuses happen, you sit there quietly, concentrating on your publications, your salary, your benefits, your promotion, etc.
      B) You put all of these good things at risk to stand up for what’s right, defend your principles, speak your mind, and protect the weak and the vulnerable.

      I’m trying very hard to be person A but it seems like that’s not happening. Every time when I face this choice, I choose my immortal soul (also known as my healthy psyche) over personal gain, profit, promotions, etc. I just can’t help it. My Jewish nature keeps winning. 🙂

      I think I might be an idiot. 🙂

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      1. musteryou Avatar
        musteryou

        I don’t have any disciplined white-girl conformity about me. I always get involved in something, usually on the side of the underdog and often just for the fight. I think some people have a genetic predisposition to comply and get attention and approval. I’ve never understood that, which sounds like I am protesting too much, but I’ve never understood that. It’s better not to mention when you don’t understand something, because I have also found that if you notice enough to mention it, but then can’t fully cross the divide to become what others are, they don’t believe you and find the whole stance to be suspicious.

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      2. Evelina Anville Avatar
        Evelina Anville

        Well if it makes you feel any better, I’m in Group B myself. Nothing is more important than my self respect….not even this job that I love. 🙂

        But I don’t think the people in Group A have more job security or enjoy more success. Those who roll over when abuses to others inevetably roll over when abuses happen to themselves. Plus it’s hard to advance in one’s career when nobody respects you. So I think we should both be proud to be in Group B. 🙂

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
          bloggerclarissa

          I’ve met some hugely successful people in my field at Yale and Cornell. And these were people who cared about absolutely nothing than personal advancement.

          Of course, I’d rather be in the same group with you than with them, even in spite of their enormous salaries. 🙂

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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