Opinions, art, debate
So it turns out that I snoozed through a really sad event: Downtown Macy’s in St Louis closed several months ago. It is sad that one can’t even go shopping in the city any longer. Everything is moving to the suburban malls.
This was the best Macy’s ever. Now I don’t even know where to shop for clothes any longer. This was one of very few reasons to move to St Louis, and now that reason is eliminated.
One quality I hate in people is cheapness and penny-pinching. And I’m not talking here about people who are in dire financial straits but, rather, about those who are comfortable yet begrudge tips to workers of the service industry.
I remember how embarrassed I was once when I had to share a cab with a professor who gave the driver a 20-cent tip while mumbling how ridiculous the custom of tipping was. Mind you, this was a person who had just received a multi-million dollar grant and had spent the entire ride sharing the difficulty of spending all this money. It isn’t like we need to maintain expensive labs and buy equipment in Humanities, so the grant paid for the prof’s traveling and expensive dining out.
The stat counter shows that 12 people from Ukraine visited my blog today. I really hope that the turn towards Europe will involve learning foreign languages and more Ukrainians will come by the blog.
The way languages are taught in the FSU countries is horrible and really ineffective. One of my professors in Ukraine shared with us that his trip to the UK had become a nightmare. He couldn’t even go to a corner store and buy a pack of cigarettes because he had no idea how to formulate his request in English. He was a professor of English, in case you are wondering.
Irrespective of how happy an immigrant might be with the decision to emigrate, she or he will miss a food or a drink that s/he grew up with and cannot find in the new country.
My Argentinean friend Mafalda missed many things: dulce de leche (a yucky dessert that sticks to my teeth), Fernet (a type of alcohol that smells and tastes like cough syrup), Argentinean meat, and, most of all, something called Sooepis.
“Oh, how I miss Sooepis!” she would sigh. “It’s my most favorite drink in the world. So tasty and refreshing! I’ve asked in every store I’ve been to here in Canada but nobody carries it.”
Once, Mafalda and I were on a long flight to Spain. The talkative Mafalda was yet again waxing nostalgic about her favorite beverage.
“I’m afraid of flying, it stresses me out,” she shared. “Now would be a perfect time to have some gin and Sooepis. Oh, I haven’t had Soeepis in forever, and gin doesn’t taste right without it.”
At this point, I knew I needed to do something to avoid hearing Mafalda’s recitation of Sooepis-related memories for the entire 8 hours the flight was going to last. I got up from my seat and went to talk with the flight attendant. Two minutes later, I came back and handed Mafalda a can.
“Is this what you wanted?” I asked.
Mafalda’s face lit up.
“Oh, Sooepis! Oh, I haven’t seen it in so long! This is a miracle! How did you manage to find it?” she exclaimed, clutching a can of Schweppes.
In China, bowls filled with water are often suspended next to bus drivers’ seats. This motivates bus drivers not to brake too hard to avoid water spilling on them.
This should be introduced in Montreal buses because Montreal’s bus drivers seem to labor under the belief that they are transporting logs instead of people.
Finally, we have normal weather.
Since posts on funny Christmas gifts are in such high demand, here are some that I have come across recently:
1. A FLOATING COFFEE MUG. Is this cool or what? Coffee lovers will definitely appreciate this tribute to their favorite vice.
2. And see these Lego slippers. How cute are they? I wish I knew somebody unconventional enough to want these as a gift.
3. And this is an absolutely amazing gift. It turns a boring office ceiling into a star-lit sky! Since I already have birds fall out of my office ceiling, I think I need this.
4. And talking about slippers, since my husband lovingly calls me Master Yoda, maybe I should get these.
5. And this is something everybody should have: CLOTHES FOR APPLES. Do you allow your apples to walk around naked? How unenlightened of you! Mind you, these outfits are organic.
6. To go with the apple totes, here is A SCARF WITH A FACE AND A NAME. It’s called Fifi, obviously.
7. If you think that business suits and Star Wars don’t go together, just look at these DARTH VADER CUFF LINKS:
8. If you are Jewish and want to give people a subtle hint that they should stop telling you “Merry Christmas!”, consider this MENORAH HAT.
9. If you are besieged by crowds of besotted admirers, buy these sandals and you will never have to worry about being too attractive. And before you laugh, these were actually the gift of the year. I’m guessing they are a big hit among very jealous people.
10. And this is something that everybody needs. It’s a cup warmer that connects to a USB port. I tend to lose my cups all day long, and this is a great way to keep track of the cup.
11. And finally, an absolutely indispensable POTTY PUTTER!
I hope I made you smile with this selection of gifts.
These days, I constantly start new projects to keep myself as busy as possible. My most recent project is to become a vegetarian for a week. In order for me to be able to forego meat, my vegetarian dishes should be very flavorful. This means that I need to work for a long time on each dish to build a bouquet of flavors.
Here is how my 7-Bean Casserole came out:
See the cooking process under the fold.
A preacher on the radio is trying to convince people to go to sleep early.
“It makes no sense to stay up late!” he exclaims. “I have never heard of anything fun, useful or important taking place after 9 pm. Have you?”
As I always say, never ask a question if you are not sure you are ready to hear the answer.
We were sitting at our favorite breakfast place when a group of carolers came in and started singing. N had never encountered this tradition and was perplexed.
“What do they want?” he asked.
“Nothing. They are just singing.”
“But why are they singing if they don’t want anything?”
“To spread good cheer and promote Christmas spirit,” I explained.
“I had no idea such healthy people existed,” N said after a pause.
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