I’ve Been Thinking. . .

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I’ve Been Thinking. . .

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Clarissa

March 21, 2014

“So I’ve been thinking. . .” I said to my students.

Before I could finish, they started exhibiting extreme happiness.

“Yes! Yes! Oh thank God for this!”

“What, is it so rare of me to do any thinking that any time I do it people feel the need to celebrate?” I asked.

“No,” the students said. “We’ve been hearing that whenever you say this, something really nice is about to follow.”

And they were right. I was going to announce that since I won’t be doing any grading until Sunday anyway, I don’t mind if they don’t hand in their essays before midnight on Saturday.

It’s good to know that I’m becoming a living legend.

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3 responses to “I’ve Been Thinking. . .”

Jones

March 22, 2014

“I’ve been thinking … that I haven’t incorporated enough suffering in this course. Instead of insisting that you submit your essays before 1800 on Friday, giving you a full weekend to relax and enjoy if you’ve planned things well, I’m going to let you send them in before midnight on Sunday, knowing full well you can’t get seven sheets to the wind this weekend and expect a decent grade.”

It’s all in how you sell it. 🙂

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1. Clarissa
  
  March 22, 2014
  
  “It’s all in how you sell it.”
  
  – That’s what I always say. 🙂 People whose students write bad evaluations simply don’t know how to sell their courses and policies.
  
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  1. Jones
    
    March 22, 2014
    
    Yes, but occasionally it’s fun to portray yourself as an adherent of the Marquis de Sade rather than Doctor Feelgood, just to see if anyone’s wise to the joke.
    
    Deadline for people with self-respect: Friday before 1800
    Deadline for self-abusing masochists: one minute before 0000 on Sunday
    Potential penalties: your self-respect, quality pub time, some extra sleep, and a highly bemused sorting of people into several masochist categories for future reference 🙂
    
    You could make it even more fun by identifying the non-masochists as well as the masochists by severity in a pie chart, simply by grouping the essays by submission time.
    
    “Self-respecting people who will eventually tell me to get stuffed”
    “Low-grade masochists who suffered on just to get the thing done”
    “Medium-grade masochists who were thankful for enduring service”
    “High-risk masochists who simply couldn’t put the thing down”
    “Dante’s Fourth Circle of Hell, where they do not serve beer on weekends”
    
    *sinister grin*
    
    “Just to be clear, students, this doesn’t affect your grade in this course, only the grade you’re going to give yourselves …”
    
    Maybe this doesn’t translate so well to American students, come to think of it.
    
    “I earned an A+ in the course, but I felt bad about becoming a high-risk masochist and losing my self-respect in order to do it, although now I am going through appropriate counselling …”
    
    Jones,
    Rt Hon Speaker for the Official Opposition (South Hades)
    
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