Lowe’s Adventures

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Clarissa

June 3, 2014

In case anybody is wondering why I stopped posting, that’s because I have moved to Lowe’s, a place where everybody calls me “sweetheart” and tries to touch me.

“I need a crowbar, where can I find it?” I asked one of the perky store assistants of my father’s age.

“So who are you planning to whack over the head with it?” he guffawed with delight.

As usual when people subject me to the unexpected bouts of sociability, I blurted out, “My husband is asking for it.”

You can imagine the extreme delight this pronouncement caused to the store assistant.

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2 responses to “Lowe’s Adventures”

NancyP

June 5, 2014

Yes, this is the joy of big-box stores. Walk a mile to find a salesperson, ask a question, walk another mile to get to the item in question. I love my old-fashioned neighborhood hardware store (New Market Hardware, on Laclede and Sarah Aves, St. Louis City). Ask for you-name-it, or ask if they can match an odd-sized fixture or find a hex-wrench-headed screw, and they walk 5 steps into the inventory, pull out a drawer, and hand you the item. And if you are lucky, the store resident cat will deign to visit you at the cash register.

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Jones

June 5, 2014

I anticipate moving walkways within an American big box retailer within ten years.

They have them at airports — why not Home Depot? 🙂

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