So. Our team won today, beating Ghana 2:1. I haven’t watched because I’m running around like a scared rabbit but it’s good to know that somebody won after Spain’s pathetic defeat at the hands of the Netherlands.

What’s funny is that I started to walk a lot more now that I drive. I have a pedometer and it shows that now I easily make 20,000 steps every day when before it was an effort to squeeze in half that number.

This happens because I can now get to a lot of different places where I have to walk. Stores are great for walking because you can do miles and miles without having to suffer from the +93F heat.

I always have the weirdest things happen to me. About two years ago, I lost a library book on the Spanish Civil War. I looked everywhere and it was nowhere to be seen. So the library put it down as “Assumed Lost.”

And so yesterday I took a bag I haven’t used in a couple of months from the closet, opened it, and. . . the book was in there. With a hand-written note attached IN RUSSIAN, saying, “Thank you very much!”

My only Russian-speaking colleague only came to our school this year. And she doesn’t speak any Spanish, so she wouldn’t have any use for the book. Besides, she’d just tell me in person because we hang out together all the time. Other than this colleague, the only Russian-speaker I know in this entire region is my husband.

It seems like I have a mysterious Russian-speaker lurking around me who is interested in the Spanish Civil War. On the off chance that this person is reading the blog, I just wanted to say, “Товарищ, дай знать о себе. Я не злая, не бойся.”

The contractor was recommended to me by a friend.

“He’s hard-working, responsible, his prices are very reasonable, but he’s . . . erm. . . kind of. . . well, he’s simple,” she said.

“What do you mean by simple?” I asked.

“Well, you know, simple. You’ll see when you meet him.”

I decided the contractor was intellectually retarded and spoke to him ve-ry slo-o-wly the first time I met him. The contractor probably thought I was the one suffering from retardation.

Today I took a long trip to Lowe’s with the contractor and got an inkling what my friend had actually meant when she warned me he was “simple.”

During the trip, the contractor chose to inform me at length of his feelings about “them black people who run around rampant having all of ’em babies on government dime and buying ’em Air Jordans because they got food stamps ‘n all.”

The good news is that he’s saying “black people”, and that’s something already. The bad news is everything else.

I offered a small lecture on the flawed nature of his approach to race relations and did manage to get him to acknowledge that “some of ’em black kids do want to work and get college degrees and do better for themselves and their families” but I still don’t see him welcoming any black people into the neighborhood any time soon because “wherever they go, they bring crime with ’em and we don’t need no crime round here, no, ma’am.”

Few things are as stupid as copyright law. IKEA is suing a website ikeahackers.net for its use of the word IKEA in its name. The website is run by IKEA enthusiasts who come up with ingenious ways of using IKEA’s products. The company is persecuting its own fans for liking it. Because nobody should take IKEA’s name in vain, or something.

This is beyond stupid.

If there is something in your partner (friend, co-worker, boss, etc) that really really bugs you and has been bugging you for a while, it means you need the partner (friend, employee, boss, etc) to keep exhibiting this trait because you need to keep feeling the way this trait makes you feel.

This is especially true if this is not the first partner (co-worker, friend, etc) who’s been bugging you with this particular trait.

But wait, there’s more:

Everybody in Goya’s Caprichos looks very stressed out, including the animals.

I’m so tired I can’t laugh, but everybody else should.

Is it just me or does the following sentence sound extremely weird:

Goya doesn’t seem to care what the end user of his paintings would think of them.

Putin is using Ukraine to split the US and the EU because an enemy divided is easy to vanquish. The EU (which means Merkel because there isn’t anybody else there with any power to formulate a coherent policy) doesn’t want any real sanctions against Russia to be introduced because it’s dependent on Russia’s gas. So Merkel is simpering, wiggling, and jumping out of her shoes to please Putin.

And the US can’t introduce any serious sanctions against the will of the EU because it will anger Merkel. And if Europe doesn’t support the US, then who does?

While all of this is happening, Putin is enjoying the situation and rightfully taking pride in being the only player with a consistent, coherent policy.

The story takes place at the office of an American doctor.

“So let’s talk about your cardiovascular risks. Do you smoke?”

“Yes, I’ve been a heavy smoker for 15 years. Now I’m up to 2 packs a day.”

“Do you drink?”

“Well, I didn’t drink when I was younger but there’s been some binge drinking lately.”

“Drugs?”

“I have to confess that I might be overusing painkillers.”

“Is there a reason this is happening?”

“Yes, I’ve been under a whole lot of stress lately. I think I might be depressed.”

“Do you have a fitness regimen?”

“Well, no, mine is a very sedentary lifestyle.”

“Do you go for walks?”

“We live in an area with a lot of pollution and I hate breathing this nasty, disgusting air, you know?”

“What about your family history? Any cardiovascular problems?”

“My father had two heart attacks and my mother died of a stroke at the age of 52.”

“OK. The only risk to your cardiovascular health is weight. If you lose 10 pounds, or better yet 40, you’ll live forever.”