Today I sacrificed myself in an attempt to defend the American flag.
The day was blistering hot and there wasn’t a cloud in sight when suddenly a huge thunderstorm hit the town out of nowhere. My first instinct was to run out and remove the flag lest it be damaged by rain and hail. I didn’t even consider that it would be impossible for me to reach the flag without a stepladder. The moment I ran into the porch, a huge wave of water hit me in the face and soaked me down to my underwear. I tried getting inside but couldn’t even find the door for a couple of minutes.
The flag is fine but my hair is crazier than ever. And what have you done to fulfill your patriotic duty lately?
By the way, the area we moved into is a lot more decent than the one we lived before. What I mean by this is that we go for long walks every day and not a single dog tried to approach me. There are dogs but the good people of the neighborhood have them on leashes and not running around, traumatizing innocent passersby.
And since nobody guessed the answer to my riddle, the question people keep asking when they hear I bought a house is, “So now you will be able to buy a dog, right?” Apparently, the only reason people don’t have dogs is that they can’t keep them in the style the nasty critters supposedly deserve.
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