I’m collecting idiotic titles of useless bureaucrats in academia who mooch off students and faculty members. Here is one I just found: “Alcohol Educator/Behavioral Incident Counselor.”
Of course, it would be even cooler to have a separate “alcohol educator” for every type of alcoholic beverage in existence but for now we will have to make do with a single one for all kinds of alcohol.
Clarissa's Blog 
So an “alcohol educator” teaches you how to drink?
Six pints, quickly, the world’s about to end …
Yes, yes, I know … why six pints?
Educational relaxant — you’ll need it for the film that follows …
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“Of course, it would be even cooler to have a separate “alcohol educator” for every type of alcoholic beverage in existence…”
Oh, what a splendid Idea! But how do we coordinate all these counselors and educators? I know! Ee need an Alcohol Educator Manager! He will be subordinate to the Intoxication Education Manager of course, just like the Drug Educator Manager.
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