I have another huge translation order, so I turned the TV on. I can’t translate without somebody chattering in the background.
On one of the channels, Dr. Phil tells a woman with a domineering, controlling mother that the mother cannibalizes her life for her own good and out of love.
On another channel, there is a marathon of Law & Order: SVU.
I choose SVU because this show at least never presents torture and degradation of women as something cute and positive.
// Dr. Phil tells a woman with a domineering, controlling mother that the mother cannibalizes her life for her own good and out of love.
I thought it was a Russian problem. 🙂
Does she live with the mother? How can the latter control and cannibalize otherwise?
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Yes, more and more young people move in with their parents because of the economy. This was a single mother of two who had to move in with her mother, and now all her parental authority is gone. She never had time to create an adult balance of power with her mother, so now her own parenting has been pretty much eaten up by the grandma.
Yes, a very Soviet problem. Let the Americans get a taste of our lives. 🙂
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// I can’t translate without somebody chattering in the background.
Would be interesting, if you listened to one of Lucy’s programs and expressed your take on it. 🙂
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Who’s Lucy?
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Since I got American Netflix, I’ve been endlessly watching SVU while I write. I hadn’t really watched the show in depth since I was a teenager, and I realized how much I owe my feminist development to Benson.
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I can only imagine how horribly shattered your writing would be if you were forced to choose between Hollyoaks and Eastenders instead. 🙂
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Dr. Phil is a perfect example of the American tendency to think that EVERY friendship, family relationship, and marriage can and should be salvaged. There is even a huge expectation that people should “stay friends” after romantic relationships end, no matter how ugly the relationship or its end was. People put themselves through all sorts of torment trying to make these things work and then feel there is something wrong with them when they continue to be miserable.
I divorced seven years ago after a thirteen year relationship. We tried “being friends” for a couple of months and it was awful. I was a beaten down mess after every phone call. I finally let my ex know that I didn’t want to talk on the phone anymore and stopped answering e-mails. It’s now clear to me that that relationship was very unhealthy for me and I see no possible benefit to me in reestablishing contact. But anytime the topic of my previous relationship comes up, someone will invariably lament how said it is that we’re no longer friends and suggest that I should call/e-mail/visit my ex.
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“But anytime the topic of my previous relationship comes up, someone will invariably lament how said it is that we’re no longer friends and suggest that I should call/e-mail/visit my ex.”
– Exactly!!! I know exactly what you mean because this is my situation as well. I met with my ex-husband a couple of times after the divorce but it was obvious that this was no use. There could be no “friendship” there. So I severed all contact altogether and believe it was the healthiest decision for me ever. Yet there are still people who make sad faces at me when I tell them that.
I don’t see why I have to clutter my life with bits and pieces of relationships that broke down years ago.
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Is there a difference between American and Russian cultures here? I got the impression that completely cutting ties after divorce is the expectation in FSU, if there are no children. To do o/w would make future partners suspicious. To be honest, I would be unhappy to be with a man still in a “we are (only?) friends now” relationship with his ex (wife or girlfriend).
Btw, in those unhappy days, this quote from Russia made me laugh anyway. Simply golden, look:
http://marko19511.livejournal.com/1099810.html
A probably good Ukrainian lj posted the following:
Утрата империи как потеря
http://pyzhik-chizhik.livejournal.com/289010.html
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“To be honest, I would be unhappy to be with a man still in a “we are (only?) friends now” relationship with his ex (wife or girlfriend).”
– I always warned everybody from the start: if there is any contact whatsoever with any ex, don’t even consider getting involved with me. I offer the same consideration in return. Another thing I always warned about is that if our relationship is over, all contact between us will be severed completely. This is my personal preference, and I’m entitled to it.
The quote is hilarious! 🙂
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I believe this is/can be a point of cultural difference. I don’t know anything about the FUS, but I know lots of Germans and for the most part they don’t seem to have any strong feelings or tendencies on this issue. It’s very much up to people to decide what they want to do when a relationship is over.
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” It’s very much up to people to decide what they want to do when a relationship is over.”
– I agree completely, and this is a rare case where I’m not telling anybody what to do. 🙂 There are people who take a different position, and good for them.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
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