I just got a letter from the grief support group, advising me to “work out your grief in a more positive way.”
I could have done without that sage piece of advice, to be entirely honest.
5 responses to “Positive Grief”
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Well I believe that one of your interlocutors bemoaned that bullets don’t have some particular person’s name or address on them, which means they haven’t learned to discriminate effectively, so maybe you can buy a printing press and get hold of some naming labels and start to make amends?
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I can’t fathom your grief — or that of my daughter. I can’t say how sorry I am to either of you. There are no words. There is no compensation. No comprehension. All I can ever say is that: “I am sorry.” And that is so vacant.
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More positive than what? And: I was just considering breaking down and going to bereavement counseling but this is precisely the kind of thing that gives me pause.
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Like Z said, more positive than what? Given the nature and magnitude of your loss, I think anything you do that doesn’t pose a danger to yourself or others goes in the “win” column. And here you are, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, sustaining a supportive relationship with N., keeping up your work, moving forward with things like learning to drive and buying a house. What more are you supposed to do? Run marathons? Find a cure for cancer? Sheesh.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
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