I have this probably annoying habit of exclaiming, “Praise be to Allah!” to signal relief. I do it in a variety of languages and at least once a day.

I need to bring some paperwork to campus but I’ve been leaving it at home for weeks. This neurotic game has been going on for at least two months, and today I arrived on campus and had a horrible suspicion that I had left the papers at home yet again. But then I reached into my handbag and discovered the paperwork there.

So I’m standing in the university parking lot, bellowing, “Praise be to Allah!” when a young man approaches me.

“Yes, me, too!” he exclaims. “Muslim! From Pakistan! Muslim! Nice to meet you!!!”

He looked like he had tears in his eyes, so I didn’t want to disappoint.

“Assalamu alaikum!” I said enthusiastically.

“Student?” the man asked.

“Professor,” I said with a quiet dignity that must have looked a bit preposterous in somebody who had recently been speaking loudly to herself in a parking lot and who can’t manage to bring a stupid piece of paper to campus for two months.

“Oh! Oh!” the young man exclaimed, beaming. “This is a GOOD university.”

“The best,” I responded with conviction.

8 responses to “Praise Be to Allah”

  1. el Avatar
    el

    Oi. If you visit Israel, you will need to be careful, not to do that.

    A true case: one Russian-speaking immigrant woman loudly calls another by her name in a public place: “Alla! Alla!” A third woman stops the former. Since many terrorists shout “Allah ahbar!” before exploding, people may become frightened. If an armed guard would hear that and think … Unpleasant.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar

      I shouldn’t have laughed when I read this disturbing story but I did. Man, this is a disturbing story.

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      1. el Avatar
        el

        Do laugh. It’s better than numerous other reactions.

        Now read about frightening incident on a school bus for Jewish kids in Australia:

        Bondi racist bus attack: Jewish schools on alert after eight men threaten to cut schoolchildren’s throats
        http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/bondi-racist-bus-attack-jewish-schools-on-alert-after-eight-men-threaten-to-cut-schoolchildrens-throats/story-fni0cx4q-1227015860427?nk=6e39e607ae66ab83aed44abd4b9e8766

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        1. Clarissa Avatar

          What can I say about Australia that will not upset my numerous Australian readers?

          Australians, your country is becoming a racist, sexist cesspool, and that sucks.

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  2. Jules Avatar
    Jules

    and peace be upon you Clarissa, remembering YOU are the Diety, Goddess!

    …observer Jules….

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    1. Clarissa Avatar

      I always like your comments, Jules. 🙂

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  3. Jones Avatar
    Jones

    しかたがない 。。。Shikataganai — it can’t be helped.

    Apparently I can’t type in the kana for “shikataganai” within the text entry box for your blog … sumimasen, y’all. 🙂

    (I say “shikataganai” instead, BTW.)

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    1. Jones Avatar
      Jones

      Wow, that’s strange, it showed up as invisible hiragana that I couldn’t see.

      Shikataganai. 🙂

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