I asked for a grande iced Americano at our campus Starbucks and instead got a piping hot venti Americano and a lukewarm venti Americano. I could have waited for the correct third version but there is a limit on how much Americano even I can ingest.
I know there’s some cool metaphor hiding within the Americano adventure but I’m exhausted and can’t find it. The exhaustion is actually the reason for the Americanos.
They are, by company policy, required to get your drink right. You don’t have to pay for more than one, and you certainly aren’t required to drink them!
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I’m in Seattle tomorrow, I promise I’ll order an Americano at the best cafe in the city (Victrola Coffee Roasters) raise it in toast, and say “This one’s for Clarissa!” before I drink it.
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Have fun! I will try not to be envious.
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[flashback to a 1980s Folger’s coffee commercial]
“We’ve secretly replaced the regular competent Starbucks staff with some trainees from a failing shop in London. Let’s see if anyone notices.”
I suppose they thought you’d “suck it up” and “cope” in the English way.
If only I could get any London Starbucks to make a “proper” Frappuccino in the American way — if I wanted a slightly colder chocolate milk with coffee, I’d have gone to Costa Coffee instead …
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
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