People on Facebook are cruelly mocking parents of stillborn babies. I’m quietly scrolling down my feed and suddenly come across this really savage ridicule of people who are mourning the death of their children.
I wonder what the thought process here was. “Hey, I have some free time. Why not poke fun at grieving parents? Ha ha, those sorry losers!”?
And here I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.
In fact people are commenting that perhaps this does not respect the memory of the child, to pose with it in a strange way and make the images public. I keep sacred memories to myself.
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“In fact people are commenting that perhaps this does not respect the memory of the child, to pose with it in a strange way and make the images public.” – Who the fuck do you think you are to tell people how to respect the memory of their children? Are you even a mother yourself? I guess not or you wouldn’t talk such garbage.
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One of the basic rules of kindness is that, within reasonable bounds, people who are facing difficult situations (grief, illness, death) get to cope in the way that works for them. Those who have difficulty with that particular coping method can absent themselves from the process, but there’s no need for them to comment, or to tell the sufferer that (s)he should cope in another way. Surely both making and sharing photos of a dead child and keeping such memories privately in one’s own mind are ways of coping that fall well within the bounds of reasonable behavior, and so are worthy of respect/freedom from criticism.
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Indeed nobody told the sufferer anything. The sufferer is a sovereign country, who stands alone. Cultural trends may be commented on if they cultural trend is made available for the public to comment on. But sufferers were absent from this commentary.
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You know what, musteryou, whatever fucking name you have. You always come here with your long winded self promotion & my sister always happily indulges your self absorbed irrelevant off topic rants. Do you not have a slightest clue of what a clueless heartless bitch you are? Go record some more shamanic videos of yourself. Fucking authority on what is strange and what is not.
I’m so sorry Clarissa. I don’t know the thread you are speaking about. But I am vicariously disgusted. Try not to let these sad and empathetically limited people get to you. Some people never learned how to forge authentic human connections and instead mistake cruelty for interaction.
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I’m so sorry, Clarissa. I hope they aren’t Facebook friends, and if they are it’s better to block them so they can’t feed off your energy.
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I recommend blocking them too. But not before seeing their friend suggestion, which is to someone who is very pro-Jewish and anti Islamic State. These people are obviously evil and spawn of the devil.
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Musteryou, it’s now very clear why you can’t hold down a job. Clarissa was always kind to you and this is how you repay her.
And beforeyou go on one of your rants, I’m not American.
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I have not understood the post or thread, people are actually making fun of grieving parents? And: very concerned about Ukraine. But: egotistically hijacking thread to call attention to my cranky post on “positive psychology.”
https://profacero.wordpress.com/2015/02/14/on-being-positive/
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“I have not understood the post or thread, people are actually making fun of grieving parents?” – Yes, they actually are. It’s unbelievably heartless and cruel. And they didn’t even try to apologize or shut up after Clarissa told them how hurtful they were being.
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All very cryptic, nonetheless. There are stillborn babies, in probably a Middle Eastern or Muslim context, and people are making fun of their grieving parents who, being from a less squeamish culture than some, have pictures of them. And musteryou is against the pictures. Have I got it right?
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It’s only “cryptic” if you want it to be. PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK WERE MOCKING PARENTS OF STILLBORN BABIES. Then one of them came here and started telling Clarissa that she doesn’t respect the memory of her own child. Read the first comment in this thread. What is so hard to understand?
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“There are stillborn babies, in probably a Middle Eastern or Muslim context, and people are making fun of their grieving parents who, being from a less squeamish culture than some, have pictures of them. And musteryou is against the pictures. Have I got it right?”
I didn’t quite understand it either. You would think that they would know that different people and cultures express grief differently. It reminds me of the Victorians who would take pictures of their dead relatives at all ages in order to have something to remember them by. This was from a time when photographs were expensive and uncommon for people who weren’t rich.
I am very sorry for your loss Clarissa.
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Yes, that Victorian practice was what occurred to me, too.
What I didn’t get was the “sovereign country” reference, was it literal or figurative, and I wondered whether this were about Ukraine. Then there were the things about Jewishness & the Islamic State. It is quite a muddle, although the point about bereavement and grief is clear.
I trust you are taking good care of yourself, Clarissa.
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I hope you are OK Clarissa. It’s very rare for you not to post all day.
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I’m so sorry, Clarissa. Lots of love and care your way, from me. I’m here for you.
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Disgusting. It doesn’t matter how people mourn: it’s never my place to tell them that they’re doing it wrong, or that their mourning somehow doesn’t honor the memory of those they mourn. What the hell is wrong with people? Seriously. If people wish to post pictures of themselves holding the children they lost, and that helps them, then they should do that. Hong soit qui mal y pense.
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I’m appalled by the comments both on FB and some here that were unsupportive. I wish you well! People should keep their noses out of how other people grieve and cope with loss.
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Thank you! I was shocked by this, too. I’m no longer wondering why people choose not to reveal that they had miscarriages or suffered stillbirth. If that’s the reaction people get, no wonder they don’t want to expose themselves to it.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
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