Recess Consultants

Published by

Clarissa

October 7, 2015

Some schools are now hiring companies to provide recess consultants. These are people who descend on school playgrounds during recess and organize children’s play to make it more productive, effective, and creativity generating.

If children want to play something that the consultants don’t deem to be the most productive activity at the moment, children are not allowed to pursue the game of their choosing. Playtime needs to be maximized for developmental opportunities, and recess consultants employ strategies that empower the children to be contributing members of community.

Recess consultants employ “positive group management techniques to create safe, inclusive environment” in the playgrounds.

No, seriously.

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21 responses to “Recess Consultants”

Shakti

October 7, 2015

Recess consultants exist to reassure helicopter parents that someone is directing their children’s playtime when the parents are at work.
They prepare children for adulthood by teaching them that not even their free time is truly theirs to dispose of as they please, just as adults don’t truly have their lunch break as just their lunch break.
They also serve an important function of filling consultant pockets, while preserving recess in name for just a bit longer.

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1. Clarissa
  
  October 7, 2015
  “just as adults don’t truly have their lunch break as just their lunch break”
  
  In what sense??
  
  “They also serve an important function of filling consultant pockets”
  
  I think it’s this, and not the parents, that is causing the whole phenomenon. This is a way to make money from selling cutesy buzzwords like “inclusion, community, safe, creativity, empower”, etc.
  
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  1. Shakti
    
    October 7, 2015
    
    “just as adults don’t truly have their lunch break as just their lunch break”
    
    In what sense??
    Sorry, I should have added the word, “many”. The civilized idea of just eating lunch at lunch and taking your time to digest your food is sadly not the norm in many American workplaces. One is supposed to catch up on paperwork, eat your lunch at your desk, turn the lunch into a client lunch, run errands during the lunch hour, network, or continue to take calls and serve customers. Then you are supposed to moan about how busy and overworked you are. You are always supposed to be “productive” in some sense, even if it’s nonsense.
    
    I think it’s this, and not the parents, that is causing the whole phenomenon. This is a way to make money from selling cutesy buzzwords like “inclusion, community, safe, creativity, empower”, etc.
    There would be no traction for recess consultants if the need to throttle every single bit of spontaneity out of children did not exist in helicopter parents, who look at this and say, “Great idea! My child will get ahead in life because s/he has optimized playtimes!” instead of “Fuck this noise. Let the kids run around and take a break from thinking/ constant supervision!”
    
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    1. Clarissa
      
      October 7, 2015
      
      People like to feel sorry for themselves and tend to exaggerate how much they work. I wouldn’t worry all that much about Americans missing meals. 🙂
      
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      1. Shakti
        
        October 7, 2015
        
        I never said they failed to eat. 🙂 I’m just saying that multitasking on a regular basis while eating is a problem because you’re not paying attention to the quality and quantity that you’re putting into your mouth.
        
        An uninterrupted 30 minutes feels different than 3 blocks of ten minutes spaced apart, or ten 3 minute breaks spaced apart.
        /digression.
        
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        Clarissa
        
        October 7, 2015
        
        Ah, well, as long as nobody stays hungry. We, the Ukrainians, take food very seriously.
        
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Fie Upon This Quiet Life

October 7, 2015

Omfg. I think I’d rather my children be raised by wolves than have to deal with a recess consultant. At least if they were raised by wolves, the kids would have to use their own creativity and develop their critical thinking skills instead of being told what the “right game” to play for “maximum efficiency” (or whatever) was.

I hate this shit so much; it makes me want to throw up. I am looked down upon by my parental peers because I’m not a helicopter parent, but guess what? My kids are learning how to work out problems and be more self-sufficient than their peers. I cannot abide these awful, whiny children who need an adult to solve everything that happens to them. UGH!

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1. Clarissa
  
  October 7, 2015
  “I think I’d rather my children be raised by wolves than have to deal with a recess consultant.”
  
  Right? Recess consultants are downright creepy. Who wants an officious adult from some weird company to hover over kids managing their play time? Brrr.
  
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J. Otto Pohl

October 7, 2015

I have become so Africanized that I don’t recognize the land of my birth anymore. Recess consultants, really? We didn’t have such nonsense in the 1970s

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1. cliff arroyo
  
  October 7, 2015
  
  ” I don’t recognize the land of my birth anymore”
  
  You and me both, buddy. What the fffff happened???
  
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  1. Clarissa
    
    October 7, 2015
    
    There is no money for teachers and school supplies but there is money for this.
    
    I don’t even know what to say about this. It’s too insane.
    
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  2. Clarissa
    
    October 7, 2015
    
    For those who are link-weary, here is a beautiful quote: “Some parents have welcomed the arrival of the firm Playworks, which says recess can be more inclusive and beneficial to children if it’s more structured and if phrases like, “Hey, you’re out!” are replaced with “good job” or “nice try.””
    
    The best.
    
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    1. el
      
      October 7, 2015
      
      \ “good job” or “nice try.””
      
      It sounds SO fake.
      
      Normal kids and teens will laugh at that, turning “good job” into more embarrassing remark to get than “you’re out” could ever be.
      
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      1. Clarissa
        
        October 7, 2015
        
        At work, I have to repeat this mechanical and fake “Good job!” like a parrot because 20 – year-olds can’t function without it. Drives me nuts. But it’s like life support to them.
        
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    2. cliff arroyo
      
      October 7, 2015
      
      “beneficial to children if it’s more structured and if phrases like, “Hey, you’re out!” are replaced with “good job” or “nice try.”””
      
      If they’re not allowed to deal with minor setbacks in childrens games how on earth will they handle any of the many unwelcome things that life throws at even the most fortunate of us?
      
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      1. Clarissa
        
        October 7, 2015
        
        This is so wrong on so many levels that I have violent impulses when I read about this.
        
        Everybody involved in setting this up is deranged.
        
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Civilization is too sick to survive « Unqualified Offerings

October 7, 2015

[…] Hat-tip to Clarissa. […]

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“Recess Consultants” | basil.CA

October 7, 2015

[…] Make your stomach drop: Read this blog post by Clarissa. […]

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ladyfiaran

October 7, 2015

Ugh, this scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I was the kid who got picked on during recess so I would read books instead in the corner, if I had to participate in this shit I would have been an even bigger misanthrope than I am now. Just let the kids run around and have fun, for fucks sake.

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1. Clarissa
  
  October 7, 2015
  
  I was like you, and always just sat on the sidelines, hoping not to be noticed at the playground. The worst moments for me were when officious adults would try to “help” by telling other kids to include me in the games. That was so humiliating that I still feel bad when I remember it.
  
  When adults try to manage these situations, the results are always bad. Kids need to be left alone to figure all this out (unless there is actual bullying, obviously. )
  
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  1. ladyfiaran
    
    October 7, 2015
    
    Absolutely, and since I read a few grade levels ahead I’d read stuff like history books and encyclopedias instead of normal children’s lit. I hated when the teachers said I didn’t get along with the other kids in my report card and I would have to be around little girls who only wanted to play with dolls and jump rope. Not all quiet kids are psychopaths in training or weirdos, some of us just don’t like being around people much😃
    
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