Narratives of the Self

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Clarissa

November 7, 2015

Questioning an individual’s narrative of the self is not only an act of extreme assholery but can also cause intense pain for people who have the experience of being victims of emotional abuse. One of the favorite techniques of abusers is to make their victims doubt their perception of reality and, hence, their sanity by casting doubt on often very trivial details of the victims’ daily lives.

“You invented all this, this is all just your imagination” is the favorite phrase of such abusers.

I have no interest in or knowledge of Ben Carson’s personal history (at the link), but what disturbs me is the idea that it is OK, all of a sudden, to dispute people’s stories of the self because of some stupid gossip one might have heard somewhere. There is no “objective truth” of anybody’s individual reality. The way people perceive themselves and the story of their life that they tell themselves constitute “the truth” for them.

It’s perfectly fine (and absolutely crucial) to dispute the stories people tell of their relationship with you. But as for their relationship with themselves, leave it the hell alone. This especially true of childhood stories. Whenever you are possessed with the desire to correct somebody’s childhood story, even if you were present and believe you know “the truth,” just stop yourself and go ponder your weird need to edit and control the personal narratives of other people.

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5 responses to “Narratives of the Self”

danmillerinpanama

November 7, 2015

You might find this article on the Politico hit piece interesting.

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el

November 7, 2015

Regarding abuse, he is not with his friends, relatives or a psychoanalyst here. Carson is using this narrative as a part of a political campaign and I think everything used for political purposes may be questioned. He is the one to blame for mixing between public and private spheres. Of course, I would question why he thinks this info should be of interest to me as a voter, not whether and how much he was troubled.

Btw, for some reason, he thinks people will vote for him because of being “a troubled kid,” why?

OK, I checked and found why:

“has written and spoken powerfully of divine intervention at several pivotal moments in his life. At the core of his narrative of spiritual redemption are his acts of violence as an angry young man — stabbing, rock throwing, brick hurling and baseball bat beating — that preceded Carson’s sudden transformation into the composed figure who stands before voters today.”
http://edition.cnn.com/2015/11/05/politics/ben-carson-2016-childhood-violence/index.html

I hate when people bring religion into politics (happens in Israel a lot too). So can’t feel sorry for him. I suppose, talking about divine intervention and spiritual redemption is nicer and easier than outlining one’s political views and / or demonstrating knowledge of the world necessary for a candidate. Unless people question your honesty and find out that “Carson… has already had to admit that he lied about receiving an offer for a “full scholarship to West Point.” “

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1. Clarissa
  
  November 7, 2015
  
  If he sees his life as a journey from violent to stable, that’s what it was. Nobody can be considered a bigger expert on his life than he is, especially not neighbors and classmates. The idea is just bizarre.
  
  I detest him as a candidate but that’s not an excuse to retell his life for him.
  
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Shakti

November 7, 2015

Questioning an individual’s narrative of the self is not only an act of extreme assholery but can also cause intense pain for people who have the experience of being victims of emotional abuse. One of the favorite techniques of abusers is to make their victims doubt their perception of reality and, hence, their sanity by casting doubt on often very trivial details of the victims’ daily lives.

“You invented all this, this is all just your imagination” is the favorite phrase of such abusers.

My mother does this constantly. My father will just forget. Have you actually seen Gaslight?

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1. Clarissa
  
  November 7, 2015
  
  No. I’m planning to see the play soon but I haven’t seen the movie. This kind of “forgetting” is always quite self-serving.
  
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