With all the talk about the crucial importance of early childhood experiences, it is important to remember that these experiences are not an unappealable death sentence. People absolutely can liberate themselves from the childhood trauma that is sucking them dry in adulthood, making them depressed, listless, underachieving, lonely, addicted, sick, etc.
One thing people need to seek such liberation is an external source of energy. Their own energy is spilling out of them through the breaches created by the trauma, and they need to supplement it from something that comes from the outside. This external source of energy can be falling in love, interacting with friends, pursuing a hobby, practicing a religion, doing work that one likes – in short, energy comes from healthy, constructive enjoyment (and not from enjoyment derived from self-destructive practices.)
The problem is that many people are too traumatized even to seek these sources of supplemental energy. What they see as love, sex, work, hobby, friendship and religious practice is actually self-destructive, masochistic engagement with the world that reinforces their childhood trauma.
Clarissa's Blog 
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