Oy vey, why are Uber drivers so damn talkative? It’s like they’ve spent 20 years in solitary confinement and now want to get in all the chatter they’ve been deprived of.
I love to talk but I only talk about profound subjects. Small talk makes my brain hurt. And today’s driver almost talked my ear off during the hour-long ride. Somebody totally needs to start a company where passengers can pay more to get silent drivers. Maybe a fine could be imposed per every word the driver says.
You could always pretend that you don’t speak much English and keep saying, “Huh? I don’t understand you,” until the driver gets the idea.
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I’m cursed by being a painfully honest person.
It’s hopeless. 😦 But the good news is that my Uber travails will be over in a few weeks.
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“You could always pretend that you don’t speak much English and keep saying, “Huh? I don’t understand you,” until the driver gets the idea.”
It would make the situation even worse. The driver would start gesticulating like hell trying to explain what he means and asking you all kinds of questions to understand what language you speak. As soon as he knows that you speak Russian, he will bombard you with several Russian words he knows, repeating each of them dozens of times and yelling like crazy: people are sure that speaking loudly will make them more understandable. So better talk to him. 🙂
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“. As soon as he knows that you speak Russian, he will bombard you with several Russian words he knows, repeating each of them dozens of times ”
Oh… you speak Russian, the best friend of a cousin of mine went there once, he told me this word BLAT! Is that right BLAT?!?? Or was it BLATCH? He said people said it all the time! BLAT!
(fast forward to the end of the ride)
“You BLAT now, hear BLAT!!!!!”
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I just use run-on chatter for the fantasy novel I write in my head that consists solely of anecdata. Or sometimes I just throw out a random question to see how people react. It’s amazing how many people will declare you a good listener if you only interject occasionally. Nobody’s cried yet, have they?
:-p
Pretend to sleep.
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Earphones. People think you’re listening to something on your phone and will leave you alone.
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Just out of curiosity – what was your very first Uber encounter like? I haven’t used the service myself, but apparently they keep profiles on what a customer is like. I have heard anecdotes where Uber drivers leave you completelly alone after you snub one for whatever reason during your first drive.
Your drivers might be thinking they are providing you with a service you enjoy, when you think you are following a common convention. Not sure what a tactful way of checking if that is the case would be. I assume you already tried grunting and burying your nose in a book, which is my own go-to?
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The first Uber rides I took were in London, and Londoners had no interest in chatting. Lovely people! Then we took some rides in Florida and we did notice that the drivers seemed resentful that N and I kept talking in Russian and excluding them. It’s only after I started riding in St Louis that I realized that for many drivers the whole point of Uber is to meet people. They say so openly. And they pay no attention at all when you try to read or text or do something on your phone. It’s like you owe them a conversation, and they get cranky if you don’t provide it. It’s so strange!!!
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In other news I’m off to the eastern Mediterranean for a week to try to use my vast diplomatic skills to heal and repair a divided island. Wish me luck in this vital mission.
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Good luck and have tons of fun!
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
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