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Tribal

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I wanted to buy Soviet champagne at the Global Foods store for our Soviet / Peruvian New Year’s but I didn’t see any on the shelves. It was the most devastating experience ever. Things are already horrifying. Trump is preparing to murder my whole family and the families of everybody I know. Gangs of Nazis are roaming the streets. The country has descended into soul-crushing poverty and our feudal overlords are laughing in our doomed faces. The patriarchy is invincible. Angry white men are harassing everybody in and out of sight. As an immigrant I live in constant terror. And in the midst of all this is can’t even find momentary solace in a cultural experience that will make me feel the illusion of being at home. Colonialism and imperialism have robbed me of the beautiful memory of the only alternative to predatory capitalism. . .

And then I saw 5 different kinds of Soviet champagne and my attempt at feeling like a true member of my tribe was over. 

8 responses to “Tribal”

  1. J. Otto Pohl Avatar
    J. Otto Pohl

    Reminds me of this post I made in 2008 about living in Kyrgyzstan.

    http://jpohl.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-third-world-problems.html

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  2. valter07 Avatar
    valter07

    Good one.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      After reading my blogroll, I realized that I started harboring positive feelings towards Trump. Because “if these people are against kolhoz, I have to be in favor” (c). Scary shit.

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  3. cliff arroyo Avatar
    cliff arroyo

    “I wanted to buy Soviet champagne … but I didn’t see any on the shelves”

    Not Trigger Warning? OMG what kind of monster are you?!? The idea of even thinking of the possibility of New Year’s Eve without Igristoe or one of its many knock offs is so traumatizing I might have to check myelf into a genteel spa so I can contemplate a complete mental breakdown

    It’s going to be touch and g for the next few days, but I can handle this… I’m a survivor!

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  4. Z Avatar
    Z

    You found actual Soviet champagne?

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  5. cliff arroyo Avatar
    cliff arroyo

    “ou found actual Soviet champagne?”

    Soviet champagne is a general term now like “Greek yogurt” (usually not made in Greece). Or maybe like band-aid (originally a brand name) becoming a generic name.

    In communist times it was about the only thing remotely like champagne that most people east of the iron curtain could get and generations of people grew up with it and it still has a client base.

    One of the most famous brands (or labels) was Sovetskoe Igristoe (lit: Soviet Sparkling (wine)) and the iconic look of the bottle

    was widely copied

    I’m actually pretty fond of it myself (though about half a bottle is my limit unless I want a horrible pounding headache the next day….

    Soviet (sovet or COBET) is actually a common noun in Russian that means ‘council’.

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    1. Z Avatar
      Z

      Oh, I see! 😀

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    2. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      Yes, these days it’s just a trademark. People buy it because of Soviet-era nostalgia. One can’t have a decent New Year’s table without the recognizable bottles with precisely this label. And now they are making many different kinds of champagne, including the sweet and the Muscat kinds.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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