Dysfunction

Published by

Clarissa

January 31, 2018

“Essentially, we are far more discriminating in our 30s than we were in our 20s, which is both a blessing and a curse. We know more about what we want and what we won’t tolerate — but to a point where almost no one is good enough. I find myself having thoughts like, ‘I could never date him, he wears V-necks.’ Or, ‘He was nice, but he sleeps in a mezzanine bed.’

What this person is describing is an onset of sexual dysfunction. And yes, of course, it hits women just as much as men. This shouldn’t be romanticized or ideologized. Very simply, she needs a doctor.

The linked article is highly stupid and I don’t recommend. I just wanted to point out yet another example of woeful sexual ignorance people think it’s cute to exhibit.

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11 responses to “Dysfunction”

Larry Kummer, Editor

January 31, 2018

“The linked article is highly stupid and I don’t recommend. ”

Wow. That’s quite a rebuttal!

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1. Clarissa
  
  January 31, 2018
  
  I don’t rebut the rants of five-year-olds. I just smile and move on.
  
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Demotrash

January 31, 2018

Unrelated, but it looks like Biss is gaining traction! He was polling in the single digits in October, now he’s ahead of Kennedy. Hopefully the momentum keeps up!

https://chicago.suntimes.com/chicago-politics/poll-shows-pritzker-in-lead-biss-trailing-in-second-plenty-undecided/

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1. Clarissa
  
  January 31, 2018
  
  That’s very good news. Very. Thank you.
  
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UDR

January 31, 2018

Both the article that you linked and the article that it quoted hurt my brain.

I’m on my mid thirties, and the odd one out in my friend group because I am married. I kind of understood it when my social group was mostly composed of people from my church, because girls were raised to be “little mothers” and assist with all child rearing and housekeeping, and told that they had to be under complete control of themselves at all times and boys were let to run free and told that it was all the girls/women’s faults if they had “lustful thoughts” and in no way expected to bear responsibility for their own behavior. Brew that soup for 20 years and you have women desperate to support themselves and tired of raising children, and men who barely understand how to take care of their own selves, let alone a family.

But I have plenty of friends outside of the church now, and among them are plenty of accomplished, beautiful, kind women who are completely single, and were never the partying type, just haven’t met anyone yet.

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1. Clarissa
  
  January 31, 2018
  
  I’m sorry for the link. I know it’s bizarrely idiotic. Maybe I shouldn’t have linked at all.
  
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  1. UDR
    
    January 31, 2018
    
    It’s fine, just, baffling
    
    Anyway, it’s always fascinating to read someone with a completely different life/point of view
    
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Shakti

February 1, 2018

We know more about what we want and what we won’t tolerate — but to a point where almost no one is good enough. I find myself having thoughts like, ‘I could never date him, he wears V-necks.’ Or, ‘He was nice, but he sleeps in a mezzanine bed.’

What this person is describing is an onset of sexual dysfunction

This reminds me of Data: A Love Story. The author makes a 72 point list, ranks dates in tiers, and then decides if she wants to continue a relationship based on points. She also creates ten fake profiles of her ideal man variations and uses them to interact with fenable profiles on the site (to see how “popular” women set up their profiles and behave).

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1. Clarissa
  
  February 1, 2018
  
  My relationship with N almost collapsed in the early stages because when we met he was reading a book of romantic advice from such a data-obsessed author. So the poor fellow tried to proceed based on this strategy that the book highly recommended. In the end, he had to ditch the book because I just couldn’t deal with the questionnaires, timing everything, “shopping conversations” (that are not actually about shopping), etc.
  
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  1. Shakti
    
    February 1, 2018
    
    Apparently this worked for her, but I think it’s a coincidence that has nothing to do with her data manipulations. The fellow didn’t run screaming from her spreadsheets, lists and her fake profiles.
    
    I tried to apply her list exercise and it doesn’t work with the complexities of people.
    
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    1. Clarissa
      
      February 1, 2018
      
      Exactly. People can’t be quantified or reduced to lists of data. Unfortunately. 🙂
      
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