Clarissa's Blog

The funny thing about this “the wife of an important man” model is that the man in it doesn’t need to be really important. Women play this role just as seriously as Patricia when their husband is a janitor. Or men. This isn’t a gender thing. I knew a couple where the man made himself into “the husband of an important woman.” His wife was a completely normal, regular person but he glamorized her and behaved like she was Isabel Preysler and he her secretary. Obviously, she dumped him, just like Vargas Llosa dumped Patricia.

I’m equidistant from both the Patricia and the Isabel models. I see neither myself nor my husband as accessories. And Isabels are rare. You need a high guaranteed income to be an Isabel. Plus, extraordinarily good health. I’ve never met any Isabels ever.

Patricias are easier to come by. I wouldn’t say they are extremely thick on the ground but they exist. Academia used to be a breeding ground for them but not anymore. I don’t know a single academic wife of the Patricia type under 60. When I was young, though, they were everywhere. There was this professor in my field who’d come to every conference with a long-suffering Patricia of his own. He’d immediately engage in a loud and scandalous affair with a graduate student or a visiting colleague, and as often as not run away with her, leaving the wife to cry quietly at the back of the conference hall. Ritual humiliation seems to be a culminating point of such relationships. And of course, she’d always take him back and they’d come to the next conference, as a sort of a traveling circus.