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Too Busy for Grandchildren

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Clarissa

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My greatest wish in life is to live long enough to see a grandchild. Klara already promised she’ll let me burp her future babies on my shoulder. Admittedly, I’m not likely to see 15 grandchildren but I’d murder to be able to help raise even just one.

This American fashion of being too busy doing some exceptionally trivial crap to take care of grandkids is repellent. The impact that my grandparents and great-grandparents had on me was enormous. I’m glad they weren’t too busy to notice that the only thing that remains after we die are the people we brought into the world. I have pictures of my grandparents and great-grandparents in my bedroom, and I say hello and goodnight to them every day. I share my memories of them with my kid, so she will carry their memory further.

As they say, you truly die on the day when somebody says your name for the last time.

People are so confused on what matters in life, it’s extraordinary.

8 responses to “Too Busy for Grandchildren”

  1. Avatar
    Anonymous

    I’m with you on looking forward to raising grandchildren (if my children chose to reproduce) and my husband and I are talking about relocating after retirement so that we can be the kind of hands-on grandparents that none of our parents chose to be. But I do feel like I have other things to do post-menopause that matter to me and that make a difference beyond me. So do a lot of women my age that I know, some of whom haven’t had children. I resent the claim that, now that I’m no longer producing children, “my whole purpose” inheres in the reproductive choices my children make.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      The “whole purpose” comment was clearly meant as a hyperbole, like when we say “I’m starving”, everybody knows we aren’t starving or anything like it.

      All Vance said in response to this comment was “mm”, and people are acting like he announced an invasion of Canada.

      It’s hard to detest Vance more than I do but people are picking at irrelevances instead of noticing serious stuff.

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      1. ed Avatar
        ed

        These “people” you mentioned here are very likely political operatives doing politicking. I don’t know how many billions this coming election is going to end up costing, but it’s going to be a lot. And most of it is probably going for this kind of political operations on social media.

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      2. Avatar
        Anonymous

        We already know that serious policy discussions don’t exactly motivate most voters. Emotions are the biggest driver. If attacking Vance along these lines works, I’m all for it.

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      3. methylethyl Avatar
        methylethyl

        Focusing on bitchy trivialities is a sure way to never have to engage on policy.

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
  2. Avatar
    Anonymous

    it breaks my heart and probably my kids hearts that their grandfather (my father) is completely indifferent to them. My mother is extremely involved grandparent, but had health troubles this year and is unable to help and is disabled (back surgery gone wrong and with complications, it’s awful and I hope she will one day recover). I still bring them over to visit and it’s actually more work for me, but I love the relationship between my mother and my kids. My dad always makes himself busy so he can be hands off. That’s him, and he was an indifferent father, so I’m not surprised but it hurts a lot.

    on my husband’s side, his mom has 14 grandchildren and runs a daycare. She is such a huge help day to day (lives on our street), and I know not only is she helping us, enriching our childrens’ lives, but keeping herself really fit and her mind agile. She is in the best shape emotionally, mentally, physically out of all of the grandparents. Taking care and taking part in your grandkids’ lives is so important for a multitude of reasons. I hope to live so long to see it myself. My stepson is about to turn 27, and although he is very single we love to remind him that his dad was a parent by now and I was pregnant at 27.

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  3. Avatar
    Anonymous

    I heard the clip and read the transcript of that episode and podcast guy and JV manage to sound like glib disrespectful assholes about the grandmother hypothesis and mother-in-laws helping take care of their grandchildren, which is a feat.

    I’m just not going to assume that a dude who tried to come up with a “Theory of Everything” and a Yalie lawyer don’t know how to choose their words.

    Otherwise: Like a lot of men, he might love his grandma but… he absolutely doesn’t respect her. He seems to hold her in contempt. And I’m basing this on other things he’s written and said and policies he wants to push.

    I miss my grandmas. They’ve been gone a long time. They might have been on this earth longer and less ill had their spouses and people around them had done more to take care of them like they took care of other people. So it goes.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      If you read Vance’s book, you’d know why absolutely nobody in his birth family deserves an ounce of respect. These are truly terrible people. That he is fully functional and not dead of a heroin overdose after growing up around those freaks is a miracle.

      Let’s give credit where credit is due. Unlike Kamala or Trump, Vance achieved incredible things and beat huge odds.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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