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A Result of Knives

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Clarissa

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In the meantime, the Prime Minister of the formerly great Britain;

A murder is a result of knives, ladies and gentlemen. A crackdown on knife sales online – but not in stores because those don’t exist – will make murders disappear. If only humanity figured out faster how to make this happen.

What can one possibly conclude from these events other than that the nation-state is dead and nobody can bring it back? Besides the fact that politicians hate the English language and will torture it mercilessly, of course.

10 responses to “A Result of Knives”

  1. methylethyl Avatar
    methylethyl

    The knives did it!

    Quick! Jail the knives!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      Hercules Poirot and Miss Marple would have never found such an elegant solution to the mystery.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. methylethyl Avatar
        methylethyl

        yeah, but we have a more nuanced take on guns:

        If the perp was white, then it was terrorism, or at least a person was doing the shooting, and the criminal should be removed from society for the public good.

        If the perp wasn’t white, then the gun did it. It was gun violence, and terribly important that we remove the guns from society for the public good.

        Does UK do the same thing with knives?

        (no word yet on how trucks should be punished for terrorist acts)

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
        1. Clarissa Avatar
          Clarissa

          Based on the weaselly language of Starmer’s tweet, I’d bet anything that the murder in question wasn’t committed by anybody called John Smith or Jack Peters.

          Like

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          1. Frank Legros Avatar
            Frank Legros

            According to the BBC, their names are Prabjeet Veadhesa and Sukhman Shergill.

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            Reply
  2. ed Avatar
    ed

    Let’s outlaw murder. I’m sure that will sole the problem!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      What a brilliant solution! If only anybody thought of it before.

      😜😜😜

      Like

      Reply
      1. Avatar
        Anonymous

        What I’d like to know is who the person, (and I use that word very loosely,) who down-voted you everyone else starting from Methylethyl.

        It seriously makes me wonder how some people can even manage breathing, much less going online.

        • – W

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  3. cliff arroyo Avatar
    cliff arroyo

    “crackdown on knife sales online – will make murders disappear”

    If only it were that simple…. the problem is that knives don’t stab people on their own… they need to be held by a…. hand! Hands are the real problem…

    Ban hands!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Avatar
    Anonymous

    And it’s a flex. Someone who grew up under communism (or fighting it) knows what I mean.

    Not unique to the pinko master-class, mind you. All the best wicked rulers do it.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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