I’m very sad for people who sincerely fail to realize how off-putting they are. “The bare minimum that is acceptable” reeks of pouty, perennially aggrieved womanhood. Everything around you dies, flowers don’t bloom, milk goes sour, and gifts dry up.
People don’t give gifts because they’ve been presented with lists of barely acceptable minimums but because it brings them joy. Gift giving is extremely enjoyable. Unless you make it unenjoyable following the recipe provided by this poster.
My spouse is not into giving gifts on special occasions and does not care to receive them. He is, however, an extremely generous and kind person. So, in our home, no gifts would qualify for a barely acceptable minimum on special days 🙂
The point is, the relationship is not defined based on what happens once a year, it is the everyday kindness and care that counts.
To scrutinize every gift one gets or gives through this lens is extremely unhealthy, in my opinion.
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I agree.
People should apply their own reasoning to themselves. Imagine someone asking you, “So. Are you going to give me the bare minimum acceptable gift for my birthday?” Would they be extremely motivated to give a good gift after that? I definitely wouldn’t.
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