Somebody should make this prick switch homes every 3 to 4 days for a couple of years.
If anything, the children should stay in the same house, and the parents should switch in and out with all their stuff, etc., to prevent disruption for the children.
Obviously, I don’t support either strategy. A 50/50 custody is a dumb idea.
Clarissa's Blog 
Hmm, he might be onto something. Obviously not the jumping between mom and dad part. That is ludicrous. However spending the night at a set of grandparents once or twice a week, now that is a half decent idea.
Stubbornness is rife in my family and it takes a moment to cool off. When I was growing up, both sets of grandparents lived nearby, and I was always over there. I probably spent at least one night every week or two at their houses.
But here is the pertinent bit. And its a bit embarrassing to be honest. I remember when I was a kid I got extremely angry at my parents for something I considered unjustified. Looking back my parents were correct, but I didn’t want to hear it at the time.
I remember venting to my Nana who listened kinda of quietly half laughing under her breath. I think I ended up spending the night there and went back home the next day and things were much calmer. If I had stayed with my parents that would have very likely continued escalating.
So my view is this. Obviously a two parent household is best. The original poster was a moron. However even better is having at least one part of your family nearby so when fights break out, because they will break out at some point. Your kids will have family to stay with for a day or two till tempers cool. Also sometimes people aren’t the best at explaining things and it takes another family member who can explain it differently to get it through.
This I think is one of the major reasons things are so screwed up at the moment. How many generations have grown up now with their family (their support network) scattered across the country or the world. That before you add in broken family homes.
Anyway, that’s my two cent.
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The important word is “unresolved”
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I didn’t think it was a pro-divorce post. Isn’t his point that parents don’t deal with their kids’ troubles because they send them away every few days and can then pretend everything’s fine?
Agree though that it should be the parents moving all the time if they think it’s so great.
-A
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This. We notice it sharply with homeschooled vs. school kids. I don’t think my kids are particularly well-behaved. They are kids after all not programmable robots. But people gush over how good they are (in public at least), and I think this is down to… they’re around us a lot. There are a lot of low-level very irritating habits and behaviors that maybe you can tolerate in your kids if you only see them for a few waking hours each day, because they are in school, in daycare, at organized sports, etc. But if you spend the whole week with them… no, you have to extinguish that stuff early and often: whining, grabbing, poor eating habits, shoving, arguing, etc. if you don’t deal with that stuff promptly, you’re going to hate being around your own kids, and the whole homeschooling thing breaks down quickly.
If you don’t see your kids much, the problem behavior can get a lot worse before you are forced to do something about it.
ethyl
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True. I had to put a swift end to the habit of requesting things in a whiny voice because I knew that it was going to drive me insane to have to hear it regularly.
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The one that I enforced on at home with the most extreme prejudice was recreational shrieking. My kids got over it quick. It was a very very brief phase. Zero tolerance.
It drives me completely bonkers when I have to hang around other people’s kids, and nobody’s bothered to train them out of this. Just open up their gobs and 100-decibel screaming because… they were chasing each other. Somebody touched my shirt. He sprayed water on me. Other non-emergency.
On the plus side, I have convinced at least a few of my kids’ friends to desist from that habit by simply sitting them down and explaining why you shouldn’t train every adult in the neighborhood to ignore screaming, and when it’s appropriate– like when dogs are attacking, or there’s blood everywhere, or something’s on fire that isn’t supposed to be. THEN you should scream with vigor and persistence, like you mean it. But this only works with the… 6+ age group. They can be relieved of the habit MUCH younger by attentive parents, without inhibiting them when there’s a true emergency.
ethyl
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Yeah, a couple of frowning great uncles can cure a tantrum toute suite ;-D
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My dad, when confronted with a 2-5yo having a tantrum, squats down, catches the kid’s eye, and says, totally serious: “No no no, not like that! You have to stick your lip out further, like this:” (demonstration) and then proceeds to do a whole deadpan tutorial on how to perform a maximally effective tantrum, the right way. From the initial protruding lower lip, to the proper eyebrow position, correct wailing intonation, orderly progression to prone floor-thrashing, the whole thing, as though they were rehearsing ballet choreography.
By the time he’s done, the kid has inevitably forgotten what the fuss was about. No wind left in the sails at all.
ethyl
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My grandson has to bounce back and forth between his parents’ houses. Four days with mom, three days with dad. My heart breaks for him.
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I’m so sorry. This is really rough.
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That is truly tough.
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