Sign up for a free recipe e-book →

Clarissa's Blog

Strange at 18

Published by

Clarissa

on

A middle-aged woman invited her friend out for a coffee on a Friday morning. The friend asked if she can come with her 18-year-old son, who is starting college in two weeks.

The son is not in the least disabled. And he’s not leaving his parents’ house to go to college. He will continue living with them.

Can anybody explain why an 18-year-old dude might want to spend his Friday morning having coffee with mom and mom’s friend? I know both women. One of them is a very close friend. Neither finds the situation to be strange.

13 responses to “Strange at 18”

  1. Avatar
    Anonymous

    is the son gay? That explanation would make the most sense

    Like

    Reply
    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      These are religious orthodox people. I know them from church. If he is gay, he should want to be as far away from his parents as possible.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. Avatar
    Anonymous

    All people are going out less than they used to, but for teens the change is especially dramatic. Here is a random chart I found

    https://x.com/jayvanbavel/status/2023104761516769415

    but you can see the same trend in many ways. This young man probably socializes with friends in person less than his parents do. He is also probably close with his parents. Nuclear families have become more intimate as connections outside the family have become weaker. Here’s a chart of the trend in percentage of young adults living at home.

    https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/loo-young-adults-in-the-parental-home-2007-2023-fp-24-02.html

    Again I picked the specific chart at random but the same trend is visible all over the place.

    -P

    Like

    Reply
    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      I understand, but he could stay in bed and fiddle with his phone. If he’s doomed to live with mom throughout his college education, he should cherish the opportunity to be at home alone.

      My daughter is 10. We’re very close, given that she’s an only child I had late in life. But I couldn’t bribe her enough to go meet my friend for coffee at 10:00 in the morning. She prefers to stay at home, read and write and play and watch TV.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Clarissa Avatar
        Clarissa

        I now realize that the phrase about fiddling with the phone sounded weird. All I have to say in my defense is that weirdness is contagious.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Avatar
          Anonymous

          If he’s with his mother all the time I agree it’s unhealthy. (The anecdote suggests this is not the case, since the request to bring him was unexpected.) If he goes out with her and her friends only occasionally, then the conversation may be interesting for everyone involved. Mixing ages is enriching. Potentially much healthier than spending the equivalent time in bed on the phone.

          -P

          Like

          Reply
  3. cliff arroyo Avatar
    cliff arroyo

    “Neither finds the situation to be strange”

    Apart from what others wrote, I might wonder if there’s some issue that the mother feels compelled to monitor (like drugs) and so she drags him around with her to keep tabs on him.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      Of course, one never knows what happens in other people’s families. Anything is possible, but this boy is such a little goody two-shoes. I wonder if he ever even kissed a girl.

      Like

      Reply
      1. cliff arroyo Avatar
        cliff arroyo

        “I wonder if he ever even kissed a girl.”

        Aaand we’re back where we began….

        Like

        Reply
      2. oldcowboy3 Avatar
        oldcowboy3

        Well, Kid, simply cannot relate, at 18 we were engaged ;-D

        Like

        Reply
  4. donbenham Avatar
    donbenham

    The mom has to be the adult and cut the apron strings….

    Like

    Reply
  5. Avatar
    Anonymous

    At a faculty retreat a few years ago, someone from another department casually mentioned her practice of calling her son (who is attending a nearby local college) to make sure he wakes up and goes to class. She talked about this as though it were totally normal.

    (commenter formerly known as AcademicLurker)

    Like

    Reply
    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      I don’t even have to wake up my kid anymore. She has her own alarm clock. I am in Saint Louis today, so she wakes up, makes breakfast, and it’s perfectly fine because she is already ten. She is not an infant.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

Leave a comment

A conservative literary critic and college professor

Recent posts