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What They Actually Want

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Clarissa

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The Jane Doe in the Cornell gang rape case texted one of the alleged assailants shortly after the drunken orgy that she had enjoyed the sex and wanted to meet up again.

Can somebody put all of us out of our misery and explain to young men that young women do not want random sex? The only thing they want is a relationship. Can somebody also explain to young women that having random sex will not give them what they want, which is a relationship?

All of this unnecessary drama, starting from the notorious Mattress Girl and culminating in this recent event, stems from this one gigantic misunderstanding. The reason why these young women are saying they did not consent is because what they thought they were consenting to was a relationship. Once the relationship didn’t materialize, they get upset because random sex was not what they were consenting to.

5 responses to “What They Actually Want”

  1. methylethyl Avatar
    methylethyl

    It’s been 25+ years since I was in college, and it was like that then. I didn’t get it then, either. All the girls I knew seemed to think that sex was a mandatory entry fee for having a relationship, and the boys I knew– even the nice ones– seemed to regard it as a freebie where if they liked the gal, perhaps they’d see her again but… it certainly wasn’t necessary to like the girl to enjoy her favors if she was offering. Makes sense on the guys’ side I guess (“hey, free stuff!”) but on the gals’ side it’s always looked more like a futile arms race (oh no, if I don’t give him free stuff like everyone else, he won’t be interested!).

    The great mystery is why anybody still gets married at all. But there’s a small minority of very persistent young people who, in the face of tremendous negative pressure, still understand the game and keep their priorities straight. Some of the key ingredients there seem to be religion, and parents with healthy marriages. Looking around at the younger people I know who’ve successfully run the gauntlet… you have to have at least one of those, and it helps to have both. The ones who have religion but also divorced parents are feeling their way heroically through how to be a good parent/spouse without a good model for it, and the ones who have happily married parents but not religion are mostly not having kids. So… I’m not sure family formation happens in the long run without religion. There are obvious exceptions, but… they seem to be getting rarer. I’d love to see stats on that.

    PSA, guys and gals: Consistently, over time, the people who report having the most sex, and being most satisfied with it, are (drumroll)… monogamous married religious people. Ignore the propaganda, and look at the numbers. You will not be a campus hottie when you’re forty. Act accordingly.

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    1. methylethyl Avatar
      methylethyl

      The downvoters 😀

      No good getting butthurt over reality. If it bothers you, maybe take a minute and think about why.

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  2. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

    Walnut

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  3. oldcowboy3 Avatar
    oldcowboy3

    “Can somebody put all of us out of our misery…” 

    Nope, there’s been three generations since the pill, no-fault divorce, and feminist hatred undermined both Western morality and the nuclear family, and the results are obvious. But while we have still not fully understood the impact of the former, the other two have become the modern equivalent of Pandora’s box. By the time that I went to university, most girls were technically virgins at best ;-D

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    1. oldcowboy3 Avatar
      oldcowboy3

      Hmmm, on second thought that was too wide a swath, most working class girls did not buy into the feminist tripe that easily.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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