If he has any experience whatsoever, he should know that the woman is announcing that they will have sex tonight. She will argue throughout it loudly with herself about how she really shouldn’t be doing every stage of it, but still.

Please don’t ask me why they do it. I’ve never been able to figure it out. But this kind of written warning has existed since text messaging has existed, and it always means the same thing.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor