Psychological Insight into Maturity

People said they wanted psychological insights. OK, I’m happy to oblige.

If you are over the age of 30, you shouldn’t be having emotions when somebody criticizes a lifestyle that happens to be yours. If a football player says that women should be into childbearing above anything else or a random woman online criticizes men who carry water bottles, it’s perfectly normal to joke, shitpoast, quote for clicks, etc. But if it actually upsets or angers you (and you know deep inside whether it does), that’s a sign that you are having a problem with reaching maturity.

Real adulthood is when getting upset that somebody doesn’t approve of your lifestyle sounds exotic. The locus of approval or disapproval moves inside. A mature individual has a system of values in place, and that system is impervious to strangers.

If you observe this issue in yourself, the solution isn’t to panic or feel bad about it. Trace which issue specifically knocks you back into a defensive, child-like role. The examples I gave, for example, speak to femininity/masculinity. Judging by the extreme reaction of many people to these recent scandals, this is a complicated issue for many. That’s fine, it happens. If you feel that this is a touchy subject for you, start asking yourself, “Why do I feel that I’m not in full control of this? Why do I find it threatening? What would it feel like to be confident enough in my choices that this kind of thing wouldn’t be threatening?”

When you are 24, and somebody says, “all women / all men should…”, it’s completely normal and healthy to get sore. If you are 34 and you still get sore over it, that’s not great. And if you are 44, you should really be over it big time. Beyond that age, I’m not even saying.

Cod Liver Salad

For people who are here for the food, here’s a recipe of my favorite cod liver salad:

  • Cod liver
  • Very finely chopped red onion
  • Very finely chopped radish
  • Boiled egg
  • Some mayo or your favorite aioli

Mix it up and spread on cucumber slices like a sandwich.

Keto-friendly, very delicious.

Only 30 Years Ago

Elizabeth George’s In the Presence of the Enemy was published almost 30 years ago. One of the main characters is a far-left tabloid journalist obsessed with bringing down the Tory government. He has an 8-year-old son who happens to be somewhat girly. Back then nobody could conceive of reformatting such children medically and surgically, so the far-left Dad limits his efforts to make the little boy more dudely to giving long, tedious speeches about the importance of masculinity and a plan to enroll the son in an all-male boarding school.

At the end of the novel, Dad realizes he was being an idiot and there’s no need to toughen up the child who, in spite of loving dance and flowers, is plenty tough already. And the only reason Dad was hung up on his son’s imaginary girliness is that the father had been molested as a child and feared the boy would be molested, too, if somebody perceived him as feminine. [This is the tiniest of subplots, so you will still very much enjoy the novel if you decide to read it].

Only 30 years ago, and it was possible to resolve this issue without physically invading a child and modifying his body.

Honestly, if what we have now is progress, then to hell with that kind of progress, don’t you think?

The Winner Is Announced

And the prize for being our 7-millionth visitor goes to…

… drumroll…

reader Post Alley Crackpot!

Thank you and congratulations, PAC!

I will write about anything you want as a prize for your deftly taking us over the hump.

The Price of Open Borders

The Russian dude is “from Chicago” but worked for a company “in New Jersey” while trawling around North Carolina. The company’s owner is Moldovan while everybody else working there is Russian. Obviously, everybody is in the country illegally, and “the company” is nowhere to be found.

Open borders was such an excellent idea. It doesn’t bear imagining what kind of operatives from which sorts of regimes are crossing into the US right now and in perpetuity because this process will never be stopped now. We’ve already brought in brutal gangs and drug cartels, now it’s spies. What the bloody Chechen are we even doing?

Book Notes: In the Presence of the Enemy

If you are looking for a police procedural written from a conservative sensibility, you can’t do much better than In the Presence of the Enemy by Elizabeth George. The novel features a Hillary-Clinton-type character and offers a very realistic depiction of what that means and what it costs.

George is known by going deep into the story of even minor characters, making them real and memorable. As a result, her novels grow longer and longer. The series isn’t uniform in quality, so if you don’t have the energy to read 20 books ranging from 400 to 1,000 pages each, I’d concentrate on this one.

One of George’s favorite themes is a parent’s love for a child. She writes about it with heartbreaking force. But in In the Presence of the Enemy, she gives us an ice-cold, cruelly ambitious mother who is incapable of even imagining what love is.

The novel is from 20 years ago, when everybody was still normal and wrote normally without trying to maneuver around ideological landmines.

Happy birthday, Kyiv!

Today, the Ukrainian capital Kyiv turned 1542 years old. It was founded in the 5th century but there are people who argue it was in the 6th. Not that it matters much at such a remove.

The inhabitants of Kyiv were massively baptized into Christianity in 988.

A Milestone Poll

Let’s celebrate our 7-millionth blog visit with some reflection and a cute, happy-making poll.

Books and Life

My books are all strangely linked to life and death. The first book was accepted for publication when I was pregnant with Eric. I was supposed to receive an award for it when he would be 6 weeks old.

I wrote the second book when I was pregnant with Klara.

This third book was inspired by the wish to stay connected to my father after he died.

It’s Here

I’m finally holding my book in my hands!

Hard cover, very shiny.

I know I get only about 4 Ukrainian visitors a week but if, by some miraculous chance, you are reading this in Ukraine, I have some promotional copies.

Тиснить на ось цей ґудзик, залишайте своє відділення Нової пошти та все інше, і я вам надішлю примірника безкоштовно:

Нічого від вас не хочу, тільки подарувати книгу.