If there is anybody I admire, it’s people who escaped from abusive fundamentalist communities and are trying to rebuild their lives and find their own way outside of the oppressive environments where they grew up. One of such brave and brilliant bloggers has started a project that will help people escaping from fundamentalist backgrounds to share how their sexuality developed in a repressive environment.

As I read through the questions, however, I felt like sharing my own answers to them. I have deleted the word “Church” because, as my readers will remember, I grew up in a completely atheist society.

1. How familiar and comfortable were you in your own body? Did beliefs about purity, modesty, abstinence, etc. affect your attitude toward your body? Did those beliefs either reinforce or conflict with the messages you received from society in general? – I remember that all the endless talk about purity, modesty and abstinence made me extremely angry. From a very early age, I experienced veritable rage whenever somebody started brainwashing me about these issues. And that happened a lot.
2. How did your parents and/or church respond to your questions (if any)? How did they (and you) understand and react to puberty? – I knew that questions about sexuality or anything even remotely connected to it would not be welcome, so I never asked. I always felt that most of the adults who surrounded me would be very traumatized by such a discussion and I wanted to spare their feelings. My puberty was something that they pretended not to notice as soon as possible. It was treated like something deeply embarrassing.
3. What kind of sex education did you receive, if any? How did your parents/church talk about sex and sex education? How did your parents model their beliefs about sexuality? – No education, no discussion, nothing. All I heard was the idea that women found such nasty things to be disgusting. But they often had to give in to the sexual demands of nasty, vile men. because that was the only way to preserve the family, of course.
4. How was your approach to the Bible shaped by beliefs about sexuality, and vice versa? (Did you, for instance, read Song of Solomon?) What Bible verses were most important to your understanding of sexuality? – Obviously, there was no wide-spread practice of reading the Bible. It was quite dangerous to be caught with such a text. I read it once when I was eight, I think. It was during a visit to my one of my father’s friends. I didn’t get to Song of Solomon on that occasion.
5. What books or other materials did your parents and/or church use to teach you about sexuality? Were you given books about marriage and courtship, for instance? – No books or materials.
6. When and how did you first hear about LGBTQ identities? How old were you, and how much did you understand? How did the messages you heard make you feel? – I grew up in a society where gay men were put into prison for practicing their sexuality and everybody pretended that gay women did not exist. I heard adults make a few jokes that I wasn’t equip to understand.
7. What were you taught about LGBTQ issues? Looking back, what sound bites did you hear the most, and what did you think about them? Did you ever hear the term “homophobia,” and if so, what did it mean to you? – One bit of information I heard ad nauseam was some tired old story about gay men forcing little boys to have sex in public bathrooms. Of course, the fact that every other woman in the country was a victim of heterosexual rape was never mentioned.

I’m putting this under the fold because the post is getting too long and some people might find it boring.

Continue reading “Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project” →