Clarissa's Blog

I’m reading a novel called The Dinner by the Dutch writer Herman Koch. It’s a silly best-seller that would have no value save for the stunning and completely casual self-hatred its Dutch protagonist evinces for his country and culture. He is a professor of history, and his vision of Holland’s history is, “. . . and the Christianity was introduced and everything went completely to the dogs. And when Protestantism won, that was the worst thing ever. . . Unfortunately, we won the war and weren’t conquered, which turned us into a black hole on the world map. . . The French despise us and rightfully so. . . What did we ever produce but a couple of silly, useless painters? We are nothing.”*

No explanation is offered for this self-hatred, as if the readers were expected to accept it as absolutely normal and not in need of any further elaboration. And I’m definitely not European enough to get it. Why would anybody hate Holland? It seems kind of random given that there are much worse countries in the world. 

We all know that I have a complicated relationship with my country of origin (which is why I left to avoid seething with resentment all day long), but I’d never say that our problem is that we weren’t conquered. If anything, I think it’s the opposite, at least to an extent. Nor would I support our neighbors in despising us (which they clearly do). 

*I’m not posting direct quotes because I’m reading the novel in Spanish.

Birth rates are the lowest in the countries where the triumph of neoliberal mentality has been most complete because the idea of posterity can’t coexist with the logic of extracting immediate and maximum profit and shortening, as much as possibly, the road to gratification.

A few months after Klara was born, Amazon Vine’s recommendation algorithm must have decided that I was ready to get pregnant again (I wasn’t and am still not, unfortunately.) It started offering me ovulation trackers and pregnancy tests. A bit later, it must have decided that its ovulation kits worked and started offering me maternity wear and prenatal vitamins.

Nine months later, I started getting offers for breastfeeding kits and baby clothes. And now that the imaginary child should be around 3 months of age, I’m getting offers for infant toys and playards. The imaginary child is a boy, which is the level of specificity that creeps me out even more.

I wonder when the algorithm will start factoring in my age and will realize that pushing out one kid after another at my age is not what normally happens, much as I’d have liked to think it does. How many imaginary kids will Amazon Vine endow me with? Because I have a feeling I will start getting a new round of ovulation trackers from them very soon.

Is it weird to feel guilt-tripped by Amazon’s algorithm? 

When Hollande was first elected and I said he was a clown and an idiot, people were massively pouting here on the blog and expressing complete confidence that Hollande’s plan to tax millionaires at 75% was going to save the French economy. 

Now that Hollande’s term has run out, what are we seeing? The economy is as much in the toilet as ever, the disaffection grows, the horrible LePen looks attractive to a growing number of people, the French education is collapsing. 

Turned on Morning Joe and caught a story about somebody who died and who’d been “deeply respected and admired for years.” Stopped to see who this paragon was, discovered it was Roger Ailes, spit on the screen, and renounced news yet again. 

I opened a book that looked promising at the store, realized it was a Bildingsroman, and literally dropped it like it was hot. 

Never again will I read a book with a teenaged protagonist. 

Another speaker dumped by a university as a result of an enraged hysteric going apeshit on Twitter. Very sad. 

Cool or sexist? You decide. My opinion is that it’s simply loserish and pathetic. 

Is this person truly this deranged or is he faking it? If so, then for what purpose?

Don’t think orphaned children can be funny subject? Watch this ad from McDonald’s and recognize that yes they can.

Why Korean companies are making their employees use English nicknames. 

No, “open marriages” (an oxymoron, if there ever was one) are not “normalized.” Whenever I ask students about the subject, they make barfing noises, so the young generation seems quite uninterested. 

Trump finally comes through for Evangelicals. I wish such momentous events were reported instead of ridiculous nonsense stories about Trump. This will be huge in the next election.

A cute defense of the Silicon Valley. But what’s really funny is that somebody should think it needs defending. 

How safe is your kitchen?

There is a growing sense that Mr. Trump seems unwilling or unable to do the things necessary to keep himself out of trouble, and that the presidency has done little to tame a shoot-from-the-hip-into-his-own-foot style that characterized his campaign.

That would be the campaign that he won, of course. Yes, it’s a total mystery why anybody would refuse to throw away the strategy that gave them the biggest win of their life. 

People who are preparing to speak at the upcoming NATO summit are urged to edit their talks to last under 4 minutes because President Trump refuses to listen to anything much longer. And good for him. 

I detest long-winded speakers who blab uselessly for hours. It’s not like anybody at the summit has invented the cure for cancer and needs to describe the scientific process. There’s no justification for members of such a frankly useless organization speaking for too long. 

Governmental organizations are famous for endless, boring meetings that have zero value whatsoever. The culture of “meetings” should be eliminated. I wish in academia we adopted the culture of standing or walking meetings that are fashionable in business circles. 

So good for Trump for making blabberers shut the ef up. 

Vladimir Putin just wants to help. The Russian president offered Wednesday to provide transcripts of President Trump’s Oval Office conversations with Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and other top Russian officials last week to the U.S. Congress if necessary, during which Trump reportedly disclosed highly classified Israeli intelligence.

Of course. Because he’s thriving on this chaos. And his life’s goal of being able publicly and loudly to condescend to hapless Americans has finally come true. The position of “Oh, don’t worry, little ones, I’m always here to help” is precisely what he’s wanted this entire time.