To my horror, I discovered that I have ageist tendencies. The new Chair of our department is very knowledgeable about technology. This was one of the reasons we chose him, which I know very well since I was on the search committee. He is also significantly older than I am. Which makes sense, since he is a Chair and I’m a junior faculty member.

Yesterday, I came into the Chair’s office and found him listening to the radio on his computer.

“Look!” he said. “This is a radio station from my home town in Brazil.”

“This is cool,” I responded. “And I was just listening to a radio station from my native city in Ukraine in my office.”

“Really? That’s great! Do you also listen to the radio on your office computer?” the Chair asked.

“No,” I said and took out of my bag my Kindle Fire in its new red cover. “I listen to the radio on this thing.”

“Oh, what is it?” the Chair asked.

And here I started behaving like an idiot.

“It’s a Kindle,” I said. “A Kindle is . . . a thing that allows you to perform a variety of tasks. You can read books, edit documents. . .”

“Yes, I know what a Kindle is,” the Chair responded in a kind voice. “Is it a Kindle Fire? Can I have a look?”

I should have stopped right there but for some reason I decided to continue on my jerkward journey.

“A Kindle is an alternative to an iPad,” I informed the Chair. “And an iPad is . . . well, a thing that allows you to perform a variety of tasks. . .”

“I am aware of what an iPad is,” the Chair said, looking a little scared.

Of course, he is aware of what an iPad is since all the faculty members at my university receive endless emails from our bookstore extolling the virtues of the iPad. Also, he probably knows more about technology than I do.

Now I will have to shut up and bear it if my students inform me that “a cell phone is a thing that allows you to make phone calls.” Ageism carries its own punishment because it always ends up castigating those guilty of it.