In China, bowls filled with water are often suspended next to bus drivers’ seats. This motivates bus drivers not to brake too hard to avoid water spilling on them.
This should be introduced in Montreal buses because Montreal’s bus drivers seem to labor under the belief that they are transporting logs instead of people.
Finally, we have normal weather.
Since posts on funny Christmas gifts are in such high demand, here are some that I have come across recently:
1. A FLOATING COFFEE MUG. Is this cool or what? Coffee lovers will definitely appreciate this tribute to their favorite vice.
2. And see these Lego slippers. How cute are they? I wish I knew somebody unconventional enough to want these as a gift.
3. And this is an absolutely amazing gift. It turns a boring office ceiling into a star-lit sky! Since I already have birds fall out of my office ceiling, I think I need this.
4. And talking about slippers, since my husband lovingly calls me Master Yoda, maybe I should get these.
5. And this is something everybody should have: CLOTHES FOR APPLES. Do you allow your apples to walk around naked? How unenlightened of you! Mind you, these outfits are organic.
6. To go with the apple totes, here is A SCARF WITH A FACE AND A NAME. It’s called Fifi, obviously.
7. If you think that business suits and Star Wars don’t go together, just look at these DARTH VADER CUFF LINKS:
8. If you are Jewish and want to give people a subtle hint that they should stop telling you “Merry Christmas!”, consider this MENORAH HAT.
9. If you are besieged by crowds of besotted admirers, buy these sandals and you will never have to worry about being too attractive. And before you laugh, these were actually the gift of the year. I’m guessing they are a big hit among very jealous people.
10. And this is something that everybody needs. It’s a cup warmer that connects to a USB port. I tend to lose my cups all day long, and this is a great way to keep track of the cup.
11. And finally, an absolutely indispensable POTTY PUTTER!
I hope I made you smile with this selection of gifts.
These days, I constantly start new projects to keep myself as busy as possible. My most recent project is to become a vegetarian for a week. In order for me to be able to forego meat, my vegetarian dishes should be very flavorful. This means that I need to work for a long time on each dish to build a bouquet of flavors.
Here is how my 7-Bean Casserole came out:
See the cooking process under the fold.
A preacher on the radio is trying to convince people to go to sleep early.
“It makes no sense to stay up late!” he exclaims. “I have never heard of anything fun, useful or important taking place after 9 pm. Have you?”
As I always say, never ask a question if you are not sure you are ready to hear the answer.
We were sitting at our favorite breakfast place when a group of carolers came in and started singing. N had never encountered this tradition and was perplexed.
“What do they want?” he asked.
“Nothing. They are just singing.”
“But why are they singing if they don’t want anything?”
“To spread good cheer and promote Christmas spirit,” I explained.
“I had no idea such healthy people existed,” N said after a pause.
If woman loses her self-understanding she will become shackled to a civilisation in crisis, transformed into a body, part of decadent femininity. Woman in a crisis of self will always be material. She will be susceptible to bodily outbreaks of corporal diseases and mental disorders which will precipitate pilgrimages in search of doctors, when not to prison, prostitution or the asylum.
- Michael Richards.
Richards is my favorite historian of Spain.
So it turns out that people who voted to hand over all of the power in all of our inter-departmental decisions to a single administrator did so because they didn’t have time to read the proposal and just voted “yes” mechanically. I have no idea how it makes sense to vote in favor of something when you have no idea what that something is. It would make a lot more sense to vote “no” on a new proposal with which you are unfamiliar if the current state of things seems to work.
I will never understand people. How did they know they were not voting “yes” to, say, having their salaries cut in half if they didn’t bother to read the proposal? Where is this unquestioning trust of authority coming from? Why do they automatically assume that everything done by an administrator is done solely for their benefit and can never be detrimental to them?
Hello, this is America. Aren’t we supposed to have an innate distrust of any authority?
Obviously, I like good students but sometimes their very goodness becomes annoying. Today is the last day of class, it snows, I’m losing my voice, and all I wanted to do after class is go buy myself an enormous cup of coffee. But then all of the best students in my course wanted to come to my office to find out what their grade is before the final exam. Because, apparently, getting 98-100% on every assignment can lead to anything other than an A.
Isn’t it funny how the best students are always a lot more worried about their grades than the ones who are about to fail?