On this picture, you can see the building where my office is located. At this moment, it doesn’t look nearly as pretty as it does on the photo because we are undergoing major construction but you get the general idea.
You can see that there are balconies on the second and the third floor. Some professors (usually the ones who have been employed by the university the longest and have tenure) have a window and a door that leads to the balconies in their office.
The tenure-track faculty have windowless offices, which I think is fair because, like everything in life, a window has to be deserved.
The funny thing, though, is that the university refuses to give professors and even administrators the keys to the balcony doors located in their own offices. You have a balcony but you can’t use it. You can’t open the door and let some fresh air in, can’t go outside and walk on the balcony, or sit in the sun between classes. What the purpose of the balcony doors that nobody can access is remains a mystery.
Understandably, colleagues with balconied offices are upset. One has even threatened to pick the lock and gain access to the balcony that way. (This is precisely what I would have done in this situation.)
The university explained that the reason why professors and administrators are being denied keys to their balcony doors is that the school is watching out for their safety. I don’t know about you, but I find this explanation to be very offensive. Our tenured professors are highly educated, intellectual, reasonable people. They have traveled the world and manage to handle themselves well both at home and abroad. They get up in the morning, dress themselves, and go to work. They even remember to brush their teeth and wash their hair at regular intervals without anybody watching over them. I’m quite certain they can be trusted to walk out onto a balcony safely.
Seriously, what’s with the insulting babying of adults?
Clarissa's Blog 
I think that might actually be bureaucrat-speak for “We don’t want to get sued by your family if you accidentally/deliberately fall out of the window.”
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Before I read this comment, I couldn’t work out what the faculty was being kept ‘safe’ from. I’d say I was being dense, except I cannot quite see how jumping off a first floor balcony might kill someone.
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Good point. This is, of course, the same university that has had heaps of asbestos lying around the hallways of this very building during the entire summer. I guess asbestos is now less dangerous to one’s health than a balcony.
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It’s all in what, exactly, their insurance policy says, if they are not self insured. If they are, they’ll have made some decisions about what is most likely to keep them lawsuit free.
Also note: I’ve broken into buildings that way before. You want to get into your TA office; the university hasn’t let you had a key to the building; a professor has their window open; you jump through the window, walk through their office, open the door from the inside (they open in that direction without a key), and you’re inside the building!
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They don’t want y’all having barbecues up there.
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Some people are getting ready to roast the administrators who are keeping the keys away from them.
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How about signing waiver/disclaimer forms? I, Professor X, am not held responsible if I fall from the balcomy etc… etc…
My productivity would rise 600% if I had a balcony in my office.
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Oh, I know! I would so dig a balcony, too. Just being in the fresh air instead of with the AC all the time, would make a huge difference. I’d sign any disclaimer for that.
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