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College Misery is Circling the Drain

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It’s no wonder that College Misery is steadily losing its popularity and that its hit stats are in the toilet. Even the greatest whiners tend to realize that if everything in the universe gets on their nerves, they need to get their shit together and find a mental health specialist who will help them.

So let me give a helping hand to the blog of the last few hardcore moaners who are still hanging around College Misery. It seems like they have run out of things and people to hate and are now ganging up on students who have the gall to give birth or undergo surgery during the semester. Here are some of the most spectacularly insensitive and nasty comments:

–  I had a run a while back of pregnant women who were due to go into labor 6 or 7 weeks into an 8 week class and wanting to know how I was going to accommodate them.

– I wonder why nobody has said to the mothers-to-be that maybe pregnancy and caring for a newborn is enough of a challenge to merit a reduction in other activities.

 – Replying to Lucy: The cynical part of my brain says that the mothers-to-be are relying on the financial aid they’ll receive from ‘attending’ these classes to meet the expenses associated with caring for the newborn in question.
– Idiot didn’t ask you to repsond, so why should you? And if you had been asked to respond, why not wait until the course begins? Maybe Idiot will have keeled over by then. I structure courses so that I don’t have to listen to or consider any of the stupid fabrications flakes like Idiot decide to whine about.
– They all think their special circumstances will automatically get them special treatment, as we all know. And who knows what this surgery is, anyway?
You’ve got to be a truly miserable, embittered and pathetic creature to suspect people of giving birth and undergoing surgery just to avoid some idiotic class assignment. And if people really go to such lengths to avoid attending your lectures, then there must be something very wrong with the way you teach.
There is no doubt in my mind that these sad caricatures of educators explode in righteous anger whenever they get bad student evaluations. They probably see themselves as great pedagogues and wonderful human beings.
In case anybody is wondering how talented pedagogues who are adored by their students handle absences and tardiness, here is a useful link.

13 responses to “College Misery is Circling the Drain”

  1. Evelina Anville Avatar
    Evelina Anville

    I think my approach is similar to yours in regards to attendance: I don’t have an attendance policy at all. I do give a participation grade which is slightly affected by attendance. (If you don’t show up, how can you participate?) But that’s about it. And it’s entirely possible for students to get a good grade in my classes with a high amount of absences. (But in all my years of teaching I have never seen a student do well who didn’t come to class.) I don’t care nor do I want to hear endless excuses about why students are absent. By the same token, I also don’t “make class up” for absent students. For any reason. I will give them any handouts if they come to my office (I won’t bring them to class in a special delivery) and for the rest I suggest they talk to a fellow student. And I stick to this policy no matter what. Even if the absence was for surgery/childbirth etc etc. It’s the student’s responsibility to figure out what information they missed. I’m kind about it but bottom line is I don’t want their absences to alter my life one way or the other…………..As far as in-class behaviors go, I think I am different from you. I see the classroom as a community and teaching as a conversation. And I don’t like rude or distracting behaviors in my community or during a conversation. So if I see students texting, sleeping, messing around on their cell phones etc, I wil speak to them after class and ask them to stop or to not come if they feel like napping/texting that day. Since I don’t have an attendance policy, there is no reason for them to sit in class as they engage in those rude behaviors. If they don’t stop after I speak to them, I ask the “offenders” to leave the class. I have rarely had to ask a student to leave class. But on the couple of occasions that I have done it, the behaviors immediately changed. Sorry for the ramble. I like talking classroom techniques. 🙂

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      “Sorry for the ramble. I like talking classroom techniques.”

      – No need to apologize! I love such discussions.

      “And it’s entirely possible for students to get a good grade in my classes with a high amount of absences. (But in all my years of teaching I have never seen a student do well who didn’t come to class.)”

      – That’s precisely what I’m saying. Why persecute them for absences if they will soon discover for themselves that being absent all the time makes it impossible to do well in the course?

      ” By the same token, I also don’t “make class up” for absent students. For any reason. I will give them any handouts if they come to my office (I won’t bring them to class in a special delivery) and for the rest I suggest they talk to a fellow student. And I stick to this policy no matter what.”

      – I even put it in the syllabus that “it is every student’s responsibility to familiarize him or herself with the material discussed in class regardless for the reason why s/he was absent.”

      ‘ I’m kind about it but bottom line is I don’t want their absences to alter my life one way or the other”

      – I think this is the best way to avoid burn-out. I’m always very kind and understanding but I do not alter my plans or sacrifice a minute of my time for anybody. Make-up tests are administered during my office hours when I have to be in the office anyways. If they can’t make it, well, that sucks. For them. 🙂 I find that students respond really well to this reasonable policy.

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  2. Evelina Anville Avatar
    Evelina Anville

    “I think this is the best way to avoid burn-out.” I TOTALLY agree. I just read the latest CM post (or one of the latest posts) and the poster is upset because he agreed to conduct an individualized review session with a student who claimed she was in traffic accident. It turned out the student lied and the poster felt betrayed and upset. I totally understand why the poster feels this way but I just don’t understand why he ever agreed to give a special review session to begin with. I would express sincere sympathy to the student and then kindly suggest that she find someone to share notes with her. If she had any specific questions, I will gladly answer (and that goes for all students) but I would never conduct a special review session under any cidcumstances. So the student gains nothing by lying to me. I just don’t understand why anybody would agree to something like that. I suppose it comes out of kindness but it just opens the door for problems and headaches.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      This was exactly what I thought when I read that post. 🙂 🙂 Great minds in action. 🙂 The prof does these weird things and then complains that the students walk all over him. I keep getting endless requests for meetings from students while I’m on vacation. I just tell them that I’m not on campus and name the time when my office hours will resume on August 20. Alternatively, I could schlep to my office every time somebody requested a meeting and then hate humanity when the students didn’t show up.

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      1. GMP Avatar
        GMP

        This! I only see my grad students during the summer, when I am payed off my hard-won grants to do research. The university pays for 9 months of my time, so I am not doing any undregrad advising or teaching after the spring semester is over. I say as much — “Undergraduate advising becomes available as of XX August, as per the university academic calendar (send link). We can meet that week if you’d like.” I don’t think more than one or two have ever followed up with an actual meeting request for when the later specified date.

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      2. GMP Avatar
        GMP

        paid, not payed
        major spelling failure

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  3. Evelina Anville Avatar
    Evelina Anville

    “I just tell them that I’m not on campus and name the time when my office hours will resume on August 20. Alternatively, I could schlep to my office every time somebody requested a meeting and then hate humanity when the students didn’t show up.”

    EXACTLY! I am endlessly baffled by those who agree to meet with students during their vacation. Students inevitably miss these meetings and then the profs inevitably get angry. And even if the student DOES show up, there is nothing that can’t wait untiil school is back in session. I guess it’s like the “martyred parent” syndrome that we both seem to hate. Good teachers, like good parents, are happy. You can’t be happy if you drop everything and sacrifice yourself endlessly in the name of good teaching. Good teaching happens when the teacher is fulfilled, developing their own scholarship, in possesion of a well-defined personal life, and well-rested.

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  4. djiril Avatar
    djiril

    I’ve read interesting, informative (to me), and funny things on that blog, but so many of the contributors seem like unhappy people who don’t like their students.
    Reading this one, for example, I can’t help but wonder what prompted the student to ask the question in the first place:
    http://collegemisery.blogspot.com/2012/04/55-year-old-frank-from-fargo-has-just.html

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      The prof is 55 and he still hasn’t figured out that you won’t be able to teach anything to people you don’t like. That’s very sad.

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  5. Hiram Hannah Avatar
    Hiram Hannah

    You were right! They closed this week after 6+ years, more than 6000 posts, 72,000 comments and 11 million hits.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      Again? Didn’t they already close once before?

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  6. Ugh fallujah Avatar
    Ugh fallujah

    Your inconsequentiality is too high to even be charted.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      All these years later and you are still upset about College Misery? Man, you’ve got to get a life.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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