Contest: Stupid Quotes

~ Clarissa

I want to propose a new game for this blog. Let’s bring the most egregiously, mind-numbingly, soul-crushingly stupid things we read on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or anywhere else during the week and share them here. One condition: the stupid thing has to be something that somebody said completely in earnest. I know we all have brilliant imaginations here but the contest will lose meaning if we start inventing stuff.

The person who brings the the best stupid comment this week wins.

I bet that nobody will find a quote as stupid as the one I saw on the blog of our favorite quasi-philosopher:

Philosophy, like a virgin, is wasted on the young.

Now try topping that!

I will make this post sticky for a while, so scroll down for new posts.

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Published by Clarissa

82 thoughts on “Contest: Stupid Quotes”

  2. Here is one that I read a while ago. Blew my mind. I actualy feel sorry for the author (who is a woman) because she seems so unhappy. But this might be the dumbest thing I have ever read:

    “Men are different. . . . Their minds are free of emotional restraints, the better to allow them to ponder the stuff of eternity. There’s a reason why Socrates was a man, why Plato, Aristotle, Aquinas, Augustine, Joyce, Eliot, and Shakespeare were men. The “dead white male,” that most despised creature in modern academia, is an archetype precisely because they were the ones who thought in leaps and bounds. They were the geniuses who laid the foundation of our modern society. The occasional Jane Austens were the exception, not the rule.”

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    2. “There’s a reason why Socrates was a man, why Plato, Aristotle, Aquinas, Augustine, Joyce, Eliot, and Shakespeare were men.”

      Because the sexism of earlier times forbade women to be scholars?

      What a hideous, worthless person he must be to validate himself in terms of his gender.

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      2. “Whoops, didn’t read that she was actually a woman”

        I know. It’s shocking that a woman wrote that about her own gender. It’s understandable that you misread it!

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    3. Even more ridiculous, I wonder where she gets the idea that these guys were all such cold fish? Socrates and Shakespeare we know little of, it’s true, and I don’t know a whole lot about Thomas Aquinas or Plato, but James Joyce and St. Augustine? They were both very intensely emotional! I can’t see anyone reading Augustine’s Confessions and *not* getting the impression that he felt things more, not less, keenly than most other people.

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    1. That’s actually a title of a book on mindfullness meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn. In the book it means something that very nicely links to Clarisa’s recent post on psychoanalysis/psychiatry. Namely, that wherever you go, if you don’t actively work on solving your issues in some way (which may or may not be meditation), there you are, with your problems exactly as they were before. Because nothing will be magically different, you will still be the same old you, unless you do something about it. So in this context, I don’t think that this qualifies as a stupid quote. Rather, it is quite truthful.

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      1. I think it’s supposed to mean that “real women” have as many babies as possible and to use birth control is “wimping out” of your womanly duty. Alternative universe indeed. 😉

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      3. “I thought it meant that if you don’t want babies, you don’t have sex. Problem solved. Sissies lack self control, after all!”

        I think it could mean that too. Who knew the slogan had so many meanings? 😉 But I stumbled on the slogan on the websites of several (generally Catholic) married women who are anti-birth control. Many of these women are having their 6th, 7th child etc. They are all rabildy anti birth control. It’s really crazy.

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    1. Not actually a quote to nominate, but anyone who thinks that seeing immodest women (and it’s always women) will cause lust/etc. in themself should, if they are unwilling to close their fucking eyes or turn their goddamn head away should be made to follow deBeauxOS’s suggestion.

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    2. Well I rarely agree with you Rob F but that’s a fantastic suggestion! It really made me laugh. 🙂 Thanks to Clarissa for coming up with a topic that brings economic conservatives and economic liberals together. 😉

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      1. Ooops. I just realized I mixed up Rob F with Matt for some reason. Sorry Rob. I have no idea what your economic politics are!

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      2. I am glad my strong economic conservative views have left a memorable image here 🙂 and I would think Rob would/should be honored to be confused for me so no reason to apologize! (half-saracasm here 🙂 )

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    3. “Rob F is very progressive, actually.”
      I apologize for the flub. 🙂 I don’t know why Rob and Matt became conflated in my mind!

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  9. I don’t have any particular quote in mind right now, but I get really tired of seeing people post grammatically incorrect sayings and “posters” on FB. It makes me want to scream. The worst is the use of “Your” instead of “You’re”.

    For example: “Always remember, your beautiful!”

    I didn’t realize I had a beautiful. I must have forgotten 😉

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  10. I think that I won. Canadian Conservative MP Rob Anders compared the War of 1812 to the current war on terrorism in his constituent newsletter three days ago. True! I can’t make this stuff up if I tried.

    “The war of 1812 [sic] ensured that the historic traditions of British liberty would live on in North America. It gave strength to the Canadian militia movement and to the notion of a citizens [sic] duty and responsibility to bear arms for the defence of the nation.

    These same principles of freedom, liberty and volunteer military service are alive today and have guided us through the last 10 years of warfare against Islamic terrorism.”

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  11. From an article about how Harry Potter is luring kids to Satanism:
    As a real witch, I learned about the two sides of “the force.” When real witches have sabats and esbats and meet as a coven, they greet each other by saying “Blessed be”, and when they part, they say “The Force be with you.”

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      1. I don’t even know what the sentence means. Have to go out and get a Witches’ dictionary. Maybe later I will be able to follow up.

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      3. “I don’t even know what the sentence means. Have to go out and get a Witches’ dictionary. Maybe later I will be able to follow up.”
        Well, the important thing is that this person is claiming to be an ex-witch to establish credibility so they can claim that Harry Potter promotes witchcraft, but seems to have witchcraft mixed up with Star Wars.
        Sabats and Esbats are real things that Wiccans do, some witches do say “blessed be” sometimes, but “may the force be with you,” is a quote from the Star Wars movies and not anything associated with witchcraft.

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  12. “”She has concluded that the most urgent need facing the Brokest Nation in History is for someone else to pay for the contraception of 30-year-old children.” Thank you Mark! Good Lord, the democrats are a bunch of useless fools; how anyone can take them seriously is beyond me.”
    –Someone on my facebook, commenting on Mark Steyn, commenting on Sandra Fluke

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  13. Some ape told me that men and women speak different languages and to think otherwise was a fringe view. I replied that being on the fringes was great because communication was so clear there, I could talk to either men or women and they would both understand me.

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      1. So many people are prepared to pay a huge price for a small sensation of superiority. Imagine sabotaging so many of your future relationships with the belief that men and women simply aren’t on the same wavelength. You may feel that your wavelength is higher and that’s why she simply cannot ‘get it’, but if you live with that belief for long enough, you’re not going to be able to get much out of the relationship either.

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      2. Egads! I read that book for a class and I couldn’t believe what the guy was trying to convince a couples to do. He says a woman should never tell her husband that he is going the wrong way when driving the car because it will only make him angry. Instead, when they are good and lost, she should tell him it was for the better and encourage him to enjoy the sunset.

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      3. “Egads! I read that book for a class and I couldn’t believe what the guy was trying to convince a couples to do. He says a woman should never tell her husband that he is going the wrong way when driving the car because it will only make him angry. Instead, when they are good and lost, she should tell him it was for the better and encourage him to enjoy the sunset.”

        I think that is very useful advice. If he is arrogant and doesn’t want to be told anything, don’t force him. Say nothing at all. Let him drive around like crazy, and when the car comes to a stop as the sun sets, remark on the beauty of the sun setting, as if you hadn’t noticed any problem. Whatever he does, be sure to approve of it.

        If he storms home in a rage because of something that happened at work, smile sweetly and commend him: “I’m sure that was the best you could do!”

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  14. I can’t stop leaving quotes. Your post is dovetailing with a moment in which I am noticing stupidity abounding: so this is proving to be very cathartic for me. 😉 Here is the latest from Penelope Trunk:

    “How to plan a career in your 20’s to stay home with kids in your 30’s”

    ARGH!!! This is so gross to me!!!! Here is another quotation: “The new job that everyone wants is stay-at-home mom”

    BLECH!!!!

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    2. Penelope Trunk is an embarrassment to autistic women. Her “career advice” for women almost always consists of the following tips: Plan for your children (even if you don’t have any, you MIGHT! SOMEDAY!), look as pretty as possible, including getting plastic surgery before your looks begin to go “downhill”, and bow down to other people’s needs whenever possible.

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  17. Translation: A woman’s heart is like a circus– there’s always room for one more clown.

    As far as utter stupidness goes, I believe this quote takes the cake. Seen on Facebook.

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  19. This isn’t a quote, but it highlights something that fits the general theme of stupidity:
    http://www.nbc29.com/story/19514099/uva-study-questions-religious-exemptions-from-school-attendance

    “Virginia is the only state in the nation, however, that does not require any educational alternatives for children who receive religious exemptions from compulsory school attendance, according to the report, “7,000 Children and Counting: An Analysis of Religious Exemptions from Compulsory School Attendance in Virginia.””

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  20. What about good quotes, are they OK too?
    May be I share a good one, but you’ll see it fits the post anyway. 🙂

    Compassion is the basis of all morality. -Arthur Schopenhauer

    To conceal ignorance is to increase it. An honest confession of it, however, gives ground for the hope that it will diminish some day or the other. – Mahatma Gandhi

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    2. The one about choice and abortion made my eyes bleed. WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEOPLE??!!!! Who would say that??!! ………..I would critique the second one…..except for the fact that I’m guilty of doing just that. Ah well: we all need to work on things. 😉

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