Translations: A New Series

In this new and exciting series, I will explain what the congenitally stupid are actually saying with their idiotic rants. To inaugurate the series, here is the following gem:

“It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.

It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek. So if men today are slackers, and if they’re retreating from marriage en masse, women should look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they’ve played to bring about this transformation.”– Suzanne Venker

What Venker really wants to say is:

“Boys don’t like me. I’m too stupid to engage in any self-analysis, which is why I choose to blame the bugbear of feminism for my phenomenally crappy personal life.  Men run away from me in hordes and refuse to do my work for me and pay my bills. I’m also a slacker of scary proportions, suffer from severe sex issues, and have no idea how to manage my professional life.

This is why I project my laziness, frigidity and general uselessness onto other people and blame feminists for how unhappy I am with my existence. It is so much easier to face one’s own failures when you pretend that they are part of some spurious social phenomenon. At least, this way I feel less lonely and – who knows? – maybe some other equally frustrated folks will join me. In the meanwhile, I will exhort others to look in the mirror and take responsibility for my problems because I’m too weak and useless to see that my misery is nobody’s fault but my own.”


14 thoughts on “Translations: A New Series”

  1. Actually she lives not far from you in St. Louis so you could invite her and her famous conservative guru aunt, Phyllis Schlafly, over for coffee. By the way, on her website she has a twelve step program on how to choose a husband. I guess that she joined Husbands Anonymous after her divorce. In another post, she posits the question, “Are real women liberal?” to which she answers no they’re not. Not submissive to their husbands as in the biblical injunction Colossians 3:18.


  2. I was looking at that site where this mad woman was attacking. People really are out of their trees and make the strangest analyses in the comments section. One woman said that because men were still promoted above her head, despite her efforts, feminism hadn’t worked. That’s like saying, because I didn’t complete my homework, “homework failed”. Bizarre.


    1. “That’s like saying, because I didn’t complete my homework, “homework failed”. ”

      – I love your sense of humor. 🙂 I really dig it when people whine that feminism – which they probably imagine as some magical other-worldly entity that brings gifts, like Santa Claus – didn’t give them all they want.


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