Today I tried to put on a pair of pants and discovered that they barely close on me. The last time I wore them was two weeks ago, and they were a little loose. And now I wouldn’t be able to sit in them without ripping them. I had suspected that it was time for me to acquire a pregnant belly but my pregnancy app disagreed and said I shouldn’t expect it before mid-April. So this development was unexpected. The good news is that I bought three very good pregnant pieces of clothing at a store in Madrid called Pre-mama. If you’ve ever been pregnant or spent time with anybody who was pregnant, you probably know that maternity clothes in North America are made and distributed by fans of evo psych. I say this because these clothes practically scream, “You’ve found somebody to impregnate you, so there is no more reason for you to look good, you fat cow! And your sky-rocketing libido does not fit our theory, so we’ll pretend it doesn’t exist!” Besides being heart-breakingly ugly, these clothes are also invariably itchy. Pregnant women often find that their skin is very itchy as it is, so you can imagine how much joy a blouse that is as scratchy as a hedgehog brings into a woman’s life. In Pre-mama, however, I bought a pair of pants and two dresses that are beautiful and extremely gentle to the touch. The dresses can also be worn when one is not pregnant. Yes, they cost a packet, but in North America, you can’t buy good pregnant clothes even if you are willing to pay. Now I’m wondering why I didn’t buy more.
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