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Tamerlan

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Clarissa

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N and I had agreed years ago that if we ever had a daughter, I would give her my last name and choose her first name, and if we had a son, he would give him his last name and pick his first name.

So yesterday N set to work choosing the first name for the boy. He doesn’t follow the news on principle, mind you.

“So how about we call him Tamerlan?” he asked. “It’s a beautiful name.”

I had to explain why this wasn’t a smart choice at this particular moment in time.

In the spirit of full disclosure, though, I have to confess that I suggested the name “Mason” after my favorite character from the soap opera Santa Barbara. N had to explain why this was not happening.

57 responses to “Tamerlan”

  1. el Avatar
    el

    Is Tamerlan a name that is used in US too?

    I ask since if you intend to raise a kid in US, better to give a name that sounds usual in US. Having 100% Russian (and/or to some US people – Muslim sounding) name surely won’t contribute to his popularity, to say the least.

    Many children of immigrants to Israel change their names, Hebrew-ize them. My younger brother didn’t want to have a completely Russian sounding name, so he changed it to something that sounds OK in several languages and 100% usual in Israel. I decided not to change my name, but understand it can hurt one, while searching for a job f.e.

    You and N are immigrants, but to your child US will be a mother country and English – a mother tongue. Most children don’t want to stand out, but rather to belong to their society. Their in a way it isn’t so for parents who immigrated.

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    1. el Avatar
      el

      Wanted to add that my brother’s decision is the usual one for children, who arrive young to Israel. So, it’s most common reaction in little immigrant 1st generation children. Adult immigrants in Israel give their born-in-Israel children 100% Hebrew, Jewish Israeli names.

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    2. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I’m not the one who is choosing the boy’s name, so none of this is up to me. I had beautiful names selected for 3 girls (both 1st and last), but now they are not needed.

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      1. el Avatar
        el

        If N reads your blog, this info is to him, then.
        If you wish, you can tell him.

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  2. cliff arroyo Avatar
    cliff arroyo

    I apparently live under a rock, what’s wrong with Mason?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      No, it’s a great name, but N. thinks it’s tacky to name a kid after a soap opera character. 🙂 🙂

      Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the soap opera connection.

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      1. David Bellamy Avatar
        David Bellamy

        I named my first daughter after a comic book character.

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      2. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        Jason?

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      3. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        Cason?

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      4. cliff arroyo Avatar
        cliff arroyo

        “N. thinks it’s tacky to name a kid after a soap opera character”

        Tacky? Maybe a little (cough_a lot_cough), but it shows you’re assimilating!

        Next stop puttnig peanuts in a can of coke so you can eat and drink at the same time! (or a car with no tires on bricks in the front yard)

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
          bloggerclarissa

          I never heard of peanuts in a can of Coke. This actually sounds like fun. 🙂

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  3. maitreyi1978 Avatar
    maitreyi1978

    “And Tamerlane, it’s widely known
    Without a bomb to call his own,
    Destroyed whole populations.”
    This is the first thing that came to mind when I heard the suspect’s name. It’s from Phyllis McGinley’s The Conquerors.

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  4. David Gendron Avatar
    David Gendron

    Name him “David” 😉

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    1. David Bellamy Avatar
      David Bellamy

      Yes, ‘David’ is a good name.

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      1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
        bloggerclarissa

        This name is actually in the running 🙂 but it is too Jewish to my ear. We will be like some sort of Jewish wannabes. 🙂 The same goes for “Jacob” that N. likes.

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      2. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        I agree.

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      3. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        Jesus is too Jewish, also.

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  5. David Gendron Avatar
    David Gendron

    Dzhokhar! 😉

    Nah…we have too much of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar Dudayev (see the connection?), blughhhh….

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  6. David Gendron Avatar
    David Gendron

    A song about parents choosing names (for your French speaking readers):

    HITLER ROBERT

    Les granolas font chier
    Avec leur macramé
    Leurs grands vêtements fleuris
    Et leur air abruti
    Et comme s’ils n’étaient pas
    Assez nombreux ici-bas
    Font des enfants à qui ils donnent des noms de granolas
    Soleil Laflamme, Pluie Gauthier
    Marie-Québec Morissette, Arbre Laforêt, Humus Langevin
    Ce sont des noms ridicules qui font chier

    Pour faire contrepoids
    À ces noms granolas
    Moé si j’ai un enfant
    Je lui donnerai un nom méchant
    Moé si j’ai un fils je l’appellerai pas Fabrice ni Patrice
    Je vais le nommer Hitler Robert

    Si les granolas peuvent donner aux leurs des noms de fleurs
    Et le vétérinaire donner aux siens des noms de chiens
    Si les communistes peuvent donner des noms communs aux leurs
    Moé qui suis heavy, si j’en ai, j’appellerai mon premier Hitler
    C’est mon droit de parent
    Fuck you si vous êtes pas contents

    Hitler Robert

    Mon exemple ne manquera sûrement pas de faire boule de neige
    Si bien que dans quelques années dans tous les collèges
    Quand le professeur va prendre les présences
    Ça ne sera pas rare qu’on entende :

    « Pinochet Robitaille?
    – Présent.
    – Pol Pot Massicote?
    – Présent.
    – Staline Nguyen?
    – Présent.
    – Saddam Lapalme?
    – Présent.
    – Hitler Robert? …Hitler Robert? …Hitler Robert? »

    Hitler Robert a foxé
    Il s’est encore défilé
    Malgré toutes les remontrances
    Il multiplie les absences
    Au lieu d’aller à l’école
    Comme les autres petits mongols
    Il joue aux jeux vidéo
    Il vole des revues pornos
    Il va fumer en cachette
    Met d’la marde d’ins boîtes à lettres
    Il va péter les tires
    De l’auto du directeur
    Malgré tous les coups de strap
    Il ne change pas de cap
    Il s’entête dans sa dérape
    Impossible qu’on le réchappe
    Il est nul, il est nul, il est nul, oui, oui

    http://mononc.com/chanson/hitler-robert/

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  7. Roberto Severino Avatar
    Roberto Severino

    My name is too Spanish sounding to name your child and Robert sounds too boring and average. Oh well!

    I second the notion that Mason is a great name. I knew a guy by the name of Mason who went to my old high school.

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  8. David Gendron Avatar
    David Gendron

    Name him “James”, this is very populaRRRR: http://names.mongabay.com/male_names.htm

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      Let’s remember that we speak Russian at home and the last name is very Slavic, so the name has to make sense in a Russian-speaking context.

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      1. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        You’re right, I was not serious. James would have no sense, clearly.

        Why not “Alex” instead of “Alexei”?

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
          bloggerclarissa

          “Why not “Alex” instead of “Alexei”?”

          – Yeah, I’m sure my current husband will be super happy to name his son after my previous husband. 🙂 🙂

          This is the problem every woman with a rich past faces. 🙂

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      2. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        Oops…

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  9. David Gendron Avatar
    David Gendron

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Russian_ice_hockey_players

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  10. David Gendron Avatar
    David Gendron

    http://www.quanthockey.com/nhl/nationality/russian-nhl-players-career-stats.html

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      One of them is actually my relative. But I won’t say which.

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      1. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        Those are younger. http://www.quanthockey.com/nhl/nationality/active-russian-nhl-players-career-stats.html

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  11. el Avatar
    el

    Daniel seems both very American and sufficiently Russian.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      My oldest friend from high school got there first. She named her kid Daniel.

      You see? This is hard! 🙂

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      1. el Avatar
        el

        So what? We have several names that run in the family. It’s fine, if both of you like the name.

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  12. el Avatar
    el

    Personally, I also like Tom and Harry. Tom seems more Russian than Harry to me.

    Alex is an extremely Russian name. At least, in Israel. Only immigrants have it, their children already don’t.

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  13. valter07 Avatar
    valter07

    What about Max(im)?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I LOVE this name. But my cousin in Montreal already has it.

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      1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
        bloggerclarissa

        I wanted Anton, but for some mysterious reason N. hates it.

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      2. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        Peter, Marian?

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  14. el Avatar
    el

    I know! Michael.

    Andrew is Russian too.

    I also like Gabriel.

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  15. Shakti Avatar
    Shakti

    I thought you were going to name the baby Olivier (for the salad). :p

    Leo(nid) –easy to spell and say.
    Peter- pretty classic.
    Erik — also pretty classic.

    I sometimes think there should a crosscultural name dictionary, but I have to come across someone willing to take this on.

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  16. Avatar
    Anonymous

    You just open a can of worms…

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      It wasn’t me! This was N.’s idea! I told my father and he is now in a state over this whole thing.

      This would be my Jewish father. 🙂 🙂

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  17. cliff arroyo Avatar
    cliff arroyo

    I can understand David sounding “too Jewish” to you given your background, but I pretty sure that for most whitebread Americans the name has no particular Jewish connotations. I grew up around kids from all kinds of Christian (and non-religious) backgrounds named David.

    I’d say the same for Jacob (to a lesser extent since I didn’t grow up around any Jacobs).

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      Yes, but we speak Russian at home. And when pronounced in Russian, these names sound as Jewish as they come.

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  18. Benoni Avatar
    Benoni

    “N and I had agreed years ago that if we ever had a daughter, I would give her my last name and choose her first name, and if we had a son, he would give him his last name and pick his first name.”

    Well isn’t that just nice for the straight people have that option. 😛

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  19. Lindsay Avatar
    Lindsay

    I also love the name Tamerlan (or Tamerlane … it’s been rendered in English in a lot of ways, including “Tamburlaine”). That was like the first thing I thought of once they released the suspects’ names: “Tamerlan? What a beautiful name!”

    But yes, it will probably be tarnished for the rest of my life because of the Tsarnaevs’ evil deed. So I wouldn’t want to saddle a son with it, even if I do continue to find it beautiful.

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  20. Hazel Catkins Avatar
    Hazel Catkins

    Clarissa, could you write a post on the languages you plan/hope to raise your child among? You say you speak Russian at home, so I suppose the plan will be for your son to be bilingual at a minimum. Is it particularly important to you or N, though, that he speak Russian? If he resists once he learns English (at school or elsewhere), will you try to force it or feel any disappointment? Will you try to teach him Spanish? Would it be important to you to hire a multilingual nanny or send him to a bilingual school? Just curious.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      Gladly!

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  21. musteryou Avatar
    musteryou

    Wasn’t the original some kind of warlord?

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    1. Patrick Allen Foster Avatar
      Patrick Allen Foster

      Yes, and in the 1390s he cut a bloody swath through southern Russia (and eastern Ukraine? I’m not sure), from the Caucuses to the outskirts of Moscow. Also, allegedly, when his army sacked Delhi, they built a pyramid of 80,000 human skulls.

      But we could probably tell similar stories about Alexander of Macedon and Czar Peter (so called “the Great”).

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      1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
        bloggerclarissa

        “Yes, and in the 1390s he cut a bloody swath through southern Russia (and eastern Ukraine? I’m not sure), from the Caucuses to the outskirts of Moscow. Also, allegedly, when his army sacked Delhi, they built a pyramid of 80,000 human skulls.

        But we could probably tell similar stories about Alexander of Macedon and Czar Peter (so called “the Great”).”

        – This is uncanny because this is precisely what my father said on the subject yesterday. Alexander and Peter were his specific references. 🙂

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  22. sheddingkhawatir Avatar
    sheddingkhawatir

    You could stick with Tamer or Timur, or there’s many other Turkic-Mongolian warlords, Genghis, Kubilai, Jahangir . . . 😉

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    1. Patrick Allen Foster Avatar
      Patrick Allen Foster

      OK, I had to look up Jahangir. Kudos.

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  23. sugs Avatar
    sugs

    The thing to really remember is to not give your child any name which other kids can turn into an insult in school. I named my sons Richard and William – oops!

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      “The thing to really remember is to not give your child any name which other kids can turn into an insult in school. I named my sons Richard and William – oops!”

      – Oh yes! This is the most crucial consideration. This is why I rejected N.’s plan to call the boy after my great-grandfather whose name is spelled in English as Semen. 🙂 🙂 You have to agree that this is a lot worse than Dick and Willy. 🙂

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  24. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Conrad?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      Hmm. Beautiful name. Thank you, we will consider it.

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      1. David Gendron Avatar
        David Gendron

        Or Konrad?

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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