Mother: Oh, I keep forgetting to ask the most important question.
Me: Yes?
Mother: This lottery ticket in Florida that just won $600,000, were you and N. the people who bought it?
Me: No, we don’t buy lottery tickets.
Mother: Are you sure it wasn’t you two?
Me: Yes, I’m very sure.
Mother: Really? Because I was sure it was you two.
Me: No, Mom, we didn’t buy any lottery tickets.
Mother: Really? Because it’s $600,000,000!
Me: Still wasn’t us.
Mother: Here in Montreal the biggest lottery prize is some lousy $50,000,000. And in Florida somebody just won $600,000,000. Are you sure it wasn’t you?
Me: Very sure.
Mother: Maybe N. bought it and forgot to tell you?
Me: Yes, maybe he is planning to spend the $600,000,000 without me noticing.
Mother: I heard on TV that the winners get the choice of taking $375,000,000 on the spot or taking the full amount spread out over 20 years. I think you should just take the $375,000,000 on the spot.
Me: Mom, we didn’t win the lottery, I promise.
Mother: Well, would it have killed you to buy this single lottery ticket knowing that you would win $600,000,000?
Conclusion: you live with a Jewish man for 38 years, you end up being more Jewish than he is.
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