Mother: Oh, I keep forgetting to ask the most important question.
Me: Yes?
Mother: This lottery ticket in Florida that just won $600,000, were you and N. the people who bought it?
Me: No, we don’t buy lottery tickets.
Mother: Are you sure it wasn’t you two?
Me: Yes, I’m very sure.
Mother: Really? Because I was sure it was you two.
Me: No, Mom, we didn’t buy any lottery tickets.
Mother: Really? Because it’s $600,000,000!
Me: Still wasn’t us.
Mother: Here in Montreal the biggest lottery prize is some lousy $50,000,000. And in Florida somebody just won $600,000,000. Are you sure it wasn’t you?
Me: Very sure.
Mother: Maybe N. bought it and forgot to tell you?
Me: Yes, maybe he is planning to spend the $600,000,000 without me noticing.
Mother: I heard on TV that the winners get the choice of taking $375,000,000 on the spot or taking the full amount spread out over 20 years. I think you should just take the $375,000,000 on the spot.
Me: Mom, we didn’t win the lottery, I promise.
Mother: Well, would it have killed you to buy this single lottery ticket knowing that you would win $600,000,000?
Conclusion: you live with a Jewish man for 38 years, you end up being more Jewish than he is.
That’s a lovely conversation. It also leaves me wondering: what are you planning to buy that you can’t buy with 1/20 of 375 million dollars? ‘Yeah, I need this now. I had my eye on the pyramids in Egypt for a while and I can’t run the risk of someone else snatching it right before me.’
LikeLike
I now understand it. Still I think my question is justified.
LikeLike
Yes, I was going to ask that question but then I was afraid it might become evidence that I had bought the ticket in question. 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
I have no money to lose on paper sheets, so I don’t buy any lottery tickets.
LikeLike
I never buy any either, so I don’t even know what this conversation was about. 🙂
LikeLike
“Mother: Really? Because I was sure it was you two.”
What are the chances that this could happen even if you bought 1 ticket?
LikeLike
I think there are no chances.
Besides, the only money I believe in is the money I made myself. Everything else is a fantasy.
LikeLike
“you would win $600,000,000?
This means “I could obtain a part of those $600,000,000”.
LikeLike
More precisely – you could contribute to those 600,000,000 🙂
LikeLike
Lotteries are taxes on not knowing any math. I sincerely doubt your statistician husband would participate in one.
LikeLike
No sane statistician, nor economist should participate in that kind of lottery.
LikeLike
Of course, I never bought lottery tickets even before meeting a statistician because I had taken arithmetic in primary school. 🙂
LikeLike
You are absolutely right. He can’t tolerate even the word “lottery.” 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
I prefer Battery!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m99ybtk4QNs
LikeLike
Your mother seems to be of the impression that she has psychic powers.
LikeLike
This seems to be a pretty common belief in the mother community.
LikeLike