Jealousy

~ Clarissa

Where the hell do people find this kind of crap?

According to popular culture, jealousy is an emotion generally felt (or should be felt) by women, about sex, getting a man, and having an inadequate breast size — small breasts of course makes it more difficult to attract men and furthermore following it up with some sex. Most articles I viewed were aimed toward women and working through that jealousy, all the while reinforcing the concept that most women *should* feel jealous about certain things. Mostly male attention.

One has to be really blind to reality to miss the pervasive nature in the Western civilization of the narrative about male jealousy. From Shakespeare to Calderon, from Maugham to One Tree Hill, what is it that men are supposed to be jealous about? Yes, that would be female attention. Also having the biggest brawn that would help attract female attention.

Presenting this as some sort of a gender issue is both stupid and dishonest.

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Published by Clarissa

9 thoughts on “Jealousy”

  2. I reread parts of Chernyshevsky’s “What is to be done?” and thought how rarely one sees romantic relationships among decent (mental) adults in novels. Without seducing, or miscommunication (jealousy is one of the examples), or a conflict stemming from somebody being a jerk. The relationship of the three main characters was so interesting, refreshing to read, better than tales of Romeo and Juliet Or Anna Karenina passions, lies, etc. May be, you could recommend other novels with similar heroes? Novels for adults in English or Russian (I don’t know Snanish and don’t have access even to variety of translated lit from Spanish.) Or other Russian writers of the same period, who are similar? Also wanted to ask whether the book could be interesting today not only to people from FSU, f.e. in USA.

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    1. // Or other Russian writers of the same period, who are similar?

      I meant “and”, not “Or”. 🙂

      Also, by mental adults I didn’t mean “insane”, but “mature”. 🙂 May be, you have thoughts for entire post and others could share recommendations too?

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    2. That’s a GOOD question. You are absolutely right; love stories in fiction tend to be frustratingly unhealthy. The famous Ukrainian writer Volodimir Vinnychenko is the only exception I can think of. He consistently worked at creating healthy, respectful relationships between men and women. Of course, he also has several works where he shows extremely horrible, manipulative relationships. His goal was to make a point and demonstrate why the patriarchal format of gender relationships is horrible.

      His works have been translated into Russian; some he translated himself. I highly recommend him as an example of an early Ukrainian feminist. The writing is also phenomenal.

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      1. Thank you for the recommendation. Have you read other good writers of Chernyshevsky’s time, not necessary about love?

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  3. Also, there is an English translation of the novel, for free here:
    http://archive.org/details/cu31924096961036

    ” Don’t you recognize such a thing as jealous^-, Rakhmdtof?”
    ” In an intelligent person it has no right to exist. It is a
    mutilated feeling, it is a false feeling, a contemptible feeling
    ; it is the result of tliat order of things, according to
    which I don’t allow anybody to wear ray undei’clothes, smoke
    my meerschaum ; this is the result of viewing a person as
    personal jiroperty. as a chattel.”
    ” But, Rakhm?,t(if , if jealousy should not be acknowledged,
    then there would be a horiible stiite of tliinp;s.”
    ” For him who feels it there are horrible things, but for
    the one who does not feel it there is nothing horrible, or
    even important.”
    ” But you are advocating an absolute immoralitv, Rakhm6-
    tof.”
    ” Does it seem to you so. after living with him four years?
    In this respect he is to blame. How often do you dine
    every day? Once? Would anj’body be offended if you

    diued twice? Of course not. Then wliv don’t you do so?
    Is it because you are afraid of ofl’ending some one? In all
    probability, it is simply l)ecause jou do not need it, because
    you do not care to. But a dinner is an agreeable tbiiig.
    But reason, and principally the stomach, says, that one dinner
    is agreeable and the second may l)e disagreealile. But
    if you have a fancy or a morbid desire to dine twice a d.ay,
    would you have been kept from it by your fear of ofi’euding
    somebody? No; if any one were offended, or forbade you
    to do it, you would only do it secretly ; you would begin to
    eat the dishes in a bad style, you would soil your hnnd.s by
    your huiTied seizing of the food, you would soil your dress
    by hiding victuals in your pockets, and that’s all. The
    question here has nothing wliatsoever to do with morality or
    immorality, but onl^’ whether the contraband is a good
    thing. Who has the idea that jealousy is a feeling worthy
    of respect and mercy, that the feeling says, ‘ Alch! when I
    do tliis, I shall offend him’; and whom does it compel to
    suffer vaiuly in the strife? Only a few of the most noble,
    for whom it is impossible to fear that their nature would
    draw them into immorality. For the rest are not restrained
    hy this nonsense, but are simply driven to be cunning, deceitful
    ; tliat is, it makes them really bad. That is all. Is
    this not well known to you?”
    ” Of course it is.”
    ” Now, how, henceforth, can you find anj- moral advantage
    in jealous}’?”

    p 327

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