We had the nicest, kindest people take care of us at the hospital. No one could have done more for a dearly beloved relative than they did to help us feel as little discomfort as possible under the circumstances. So I don’t want anybody to think that the story I’m about to share is a criticism of them. That would be the nastiest kind of ingratitude. This was simply one of those moments that give momentary relief from pain because of their sheer weirdness.
Before the C-section, we were placed in a waiting room where I was gradually attached to all kinds of devices and monitors. An endless stream of people was coming in to ask questions, get our signatures, offer hugs and kisses, etc. This was helpful because this is not the time when you want to sit alone in silence.
“Are you allergic to any medications?”
“Have you had any major surgeries before?”
“Do you suffer from heart disease?”
“Are you on anti-depressants? Have you ever been?”
“Are you Muslim?”
The last question put us all into a stupor.
“Huh?” I asked.
“Well, we don’t want to pry, but if you are Muslim, you can just tell us,” the nurse whispered.
“No, we are not Muslim,” I said.
“Oh, OK. It’s just that when you asked the Chaplain to come by later we wondered if you are Muslim.”
So now we have a new definition of Muslims: they are people who are not eager to see a Chaplain immediately and prefer for him to come back later.
Clarissa's Blog 
I think it just meant that they needed to know whether to send a Muslim chaplin or not.
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I don’t think we can count on such a wide selection of chaplains in our small town. 🙂
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What’s especially weird is that more often than not muslims are like vegans, they don’t make you sit around and wonder and guess about their ideology….
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Thank you for trying to make me smile.
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Points for not linking your appearance to your religion (or lack thereof)?
Perhaps she just threw the question in there at the end because she wanted to make sure nothing discomfited you. After all, if the chaplain was super-Jesusy-hellfire, it would be quite distressing to go through a meeting with him beforehand. Some people have quite a muddle in their heads in which they know maybe three religions.
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“Points for not linking your appearance to your religion (or lack thereof)?”
– Actually, this is not entirely true. My sister was with us and she looks very Semitic.
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Accent = Muslim? (I don’t know if you have an accent.)
Rose
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This was something that made it extra hard to be at the hospital. On campus, i’m used to everybody understanding me very well. But at the hospital people are less used to accents and I kept having to repeat everything. This was hard because I felt like I was participating in a nightmare as it was, and seeing people stare at me without any comprehension of what I was saying aggravated that feeling. I normally think of myself as very articulate so this was disturbing.
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That sounds painful. I’m used to receiving that look when I’m in Research Country, but my skills with that language are nowhere near as good as yours in English. Americans need to try harder.
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// But at the hospital people are less used to accents and I kept having to repeat everything.
Do you have a Russian accent in Spanish too, or only in English?
Agree with Rose about “Americans need to try harder”. Especially true for hospital workers.
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In Spanish I have a heavy Argentinean accent.
I’m an immigrant, so it’s up to me to make an effort. People don’t have to adapt to me but I do have to adapt to them.
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My more serious analysis: I think she was basically trying to suss out whether you really wanted to see the chaplain later or were being polite and when you said ‘later’ you meant ‘never’. Also the person probably has no clear idea about various religions and was using ‘muslim’ as a cover term for ‘non-Christian’.
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