The Most Horrible Moment

Published by

Clarissa

September 18, 2013

We went to a convenience store two days ago, and as I was waiting for N. outside I saw three young men of about 18 or 20 come out of the store and get into a car. And that was the most horrible moment I have had so far. I can deal with the operation, the scar, the emotional pain, the loss, but knowing that Eric will never grow up to go to a store with his buddies – that is the really intolerable, impossible, unacceptable thing. This is the real tragedy.

Yesterday was not a bad day but today is very difficult. I can’t stop thinking about those young men at the store.

I think I will try to get some more sleep because this is very exhausting.

Rate this:

7 responses to “The Most Horrible Moment”

twicerandomly

September 18, 2013

Yes. Those little moments can tear your heart out.
I remember being in a mall and walking past a shoe store. A woman had just tried on a pair of shoes, and her husband was saying, “Those look very nice on you.” And the wrenching pain that those little ordinary, everyday moments were forever lost.
Grieving is exhausting. I found getting enough sleep was essential, otherwise the next day would be a misery.
It does get better.

LikeLike

Reply
1. Benoni
  
  September 18, 2013
  
  “It does get better.”
  
  Yes and no. The pain dulls. You get used to the fact someone isn’t there when they should be, but you never stop missing them.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
Hattie

September 18, 2013

I have a friend with cancer, and she can’t bear to hear about my grandchildren. She will not live to see her grandchild grow up. So we talk about other things.

LikeLike

Reply
musteryou

September 18, 2013

You know, there is probably a young man of around that age group who could benefit in some way from something only you could do.

LikeLike

Reply
David Gendron

September 18, 2013

Some say, you’ll find out that this is a good thing.

LikeLike

Reply
David Gendron

September 18, 2013

Some Day, you’ll find out that this is a good thing.

LikeLike

Reply
Jodie

September 18, 2013

My little brother died in an accident at 14. I often wonder (still, after all this time; it’s been almost 40 years) how his life would have turned out, what he would have done, what his kids would have been like. I still miss him, but now it’s a wistful, wishful sort of missing, and not the painful, hot grief that it was in the beginning.

LikeLike

Reply