The Milk of Human Kindness

The phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Clarissa? Is that you?”

“Yes, hello Jennifer.”

“Clarissa, I’m calling about the course in which I’m substituting you while you are on leave. We were just told that our contracts will not be rescinded after you return to work. We will keep getting paid for teaching these courses after you resume your duties.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I’m glad that you will continue to get paid.”

“Still, this is all very inconvenient! We were not told immediately that we will keep getting paid! It took the HR a while to tell us!”

“It’s good to hear that everything worked out, though .”

“Yes, but I don’t know what to do about all this disruption! The original plan was for me to continue teaching until the end of the semester, and now you are coming back!”

“I also hoped to be on maternity leave but you know what happened, right?”

“Yes, but what am I supposed to do now? This is very inconvenient to me and to the students.”

“Look, I’m sure the students will be fine.”

“I don’t know, there is this quiz they have to write the week when you come back, and I have no idea what to tell them now and how to go about this. I was planning to teach this course and now you are coming back and I don’t know what to do! I can’t believe I have to deal with all this!!!”

” I’m sure we will find a way to administer the quiz.”

“I cannot believe how calm you are about all this. I’m really stressed out about this course. This just never happened to me before!”

13 thoughts on “The Milk of Human Kindness

  1. That’s so mean and unfeeling. And apart from the sheer lack of empathy, it’s also stupid. The difficulty is in store for you. She is the one leaving; you have to figure out what she covered, how she covered it, what the students know, what they don’t, how she managed or changed the atmosphere of the class etc. She just gets to leave and continue getting paid. Where is her difficulty?

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  2. You are extremely kind to afford her a generic name. Pray tell she’s not someone you deal with on a regular basis. Featherbrained and self absorbed is a such a winning combination in a colleague. It’s a wonder she hasn’t had a fatal Swingline accident yet. *blink*

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    1. I apologize to all the Jennifers out there for borrowing their name for this purpose. It was just the first one that came to mind. I now face 5 happy weeks team-teaching with this person.

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  3. Shut the fuck up, Jenny.

    You and I know what her real issue is. She hates to know that her soon-to-be former students will discover during their first day of class with you that she is an incompetent cunt.

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  4. In the post’s beginning I thought she felt uncomfortable because of “getting paid for teaching these courses after you resume your duties” due to moral scruples. Guess no. 😦

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  5. I’m trying to imagine the sort of person who’d look at you in your situation and think, “gee, that’s awfully inconvenient for me.”

    Nope, can’t do it.

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